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DEMACIA!

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The past few months had been tough for Zhang Hao, and it’d been a hot minute since he last savored the taste and the tingle of pleasure that came from solo killing the enemy champion in his lane. Zhang Hao’s mind flashed through the memories of everything that took place during the Collegiate Cup, and a single tear dropped from his eye and streaked across his face. Every single game during the tournament was a hard one for Zhang Hao. There wasn’t a single opponent who was weaker than him as a player. Even during the best games he had, his opponents were at the same level as him. It was not a great situation for Zhang Hao. 

And in that terrible situation, where Zhang Hao was the weakest link on Team Shanghai, the only thing that he could do was play as cautiously and safely as possible. He’d have to wait until a teammate roamed over to help him with a gank, or until he scaled enough to be useful in teamfights. Every single second of every minute in a game, Zhang Hao felt the stress of that bearing down on his soul. But he made it through the entire Collegiate Cup, and it wasn’t that Zhang Hao felt that he was completely useless on Team Shanghai. Or that he was dragging them down. It was just difficult watching his teammates in the Mid lane or Bot lane or even in the Jungle pop off and pick up kills, while he had to play patiently and wait for his champion to scale. Unfortunately, Zhang Hao never had a moment in the entire Collegiate Cup where he felt like the star of the team or was truly popping off. Unlike everyone else on Team Shanghai.

But today, in this game, things were very different. Zhang Hao thanked the stars and the Gods of RNG. Then he looked at Rumble’s corpse in front of him one more time as his entire body trembled with joy. Awesome! This is so awesome! This Rumble ain’t bad, he’s mid-Diamond at the very least. But I’m a Diamond 1 player and I’m playing my main, Irelia! Rumble… I, your father, will show you why I belong on Team Shanghai! I will grind you to dust and show you that you are nothing in front of me!

“I’ve got top secured!” Zhang Hao declared to the rest of the team in high spirits. 

“Rodger, rodger! Nice work, Hao Bro,” An Xin said. Then, she turned her attention to the Mid lane and said, “Zeng Zeng, get ready. I’m coming from behind.” 

A few seconds later, An Xin’s Kha’Zix burst into the Mid lane for a gank. Together with Zeng Rui’s Orianna, the two seized an opening and killed the opposing LeBlanc. 

《You have slain an enemy!》

As the announcer’s voice rang out, Zeng Rui glanced down at LeBlanc’s corpse in front of him. He shook his head. 40 points. At best. Pathetic. This LeBlanc’s mechanics are at the mid-Diamond level, but she’s got zero map awareness. Or game sense. As soon as the game started, she decided to be aggressive and used all of her abilities to poke my health down as much as possible. Including her only movement ability, Distortion. Didn’t even think that it could be used as an escape mechanic or that there might be a gank that could cause her problems. Pathetic. That was the opening that An Xin and I used, but I doubt that LeBlanc player can figure that out. When she used Distortion to try and go in again, that’s all we needed to jump onto her and kill her. I don’t see this guy climbing higher than where he is right now. 

It hadn’t even been five minutes since the game started, but things were already tilting in Team Shanghai’s favor. The scoreboard was currently 3-0. 

Gang Zi’s complexion was ashen pale. How the fuck is this happening? We’re losing in every single lane. This doesn’t make any sense! They’re just a bunch of high schoolers with two girls on their team… how… why are they so good? Fuck!

“Play safe!” Gang Zi gnashed his teeth and shouted. “Focusing on farming and scaling! Rek’Sai, come gank bot!”

This was not a bad call. Especially considering the fact that both Garen and Kalista had used their flashes to get the kill on Morgana earlier. If Rek’Sai roamed down to the Bot lane now, the chances of the gank succeeding were much higher. Unfortunately for Gang Zi, reality and expectation didn’t always align. A minute later, the announcer’s voice rang out again from the bot lane. 

《An ally has been slain!》

“Fuck! Shit! Back back back! Now!” Gang Zi cried out in voice chat. But it was too late. The entire plan turned out to be an unfortunate miscalculation for the Lads’ team. An Xin predicted that they would attempt something in Bot lane to turn things around, and started building up a counter-play.  Right when Rek’Sai started moving towards the Bot lane for a gank, An Xin’s Kha’Zix was already there and hidden, waiting for a good opportunity to ambush and counter gank. 

The doomed Rek’Sai had no idea that Kha’Zix was there or that the Bot lane was ready for the gank before it happened. Neither did Jinx or Morgana. When Rek’Sai arrived and grouped up with Jinx and Morgana, all three of them decided to go in on Kalista and Garen. Lin Feng’s Garen soaked up most of the damage and forced all three of them to blow all their skills. That’s when An Xin’s Kha’Zix circled around and trapped all three of them in a pincer. 

That was when the counter-gank officially started. Rek’Sai was the first to die, and Morgana followed to the afterlife shortly after. 

《Double Kill!》

As Gang Zi heard the announcer’s voice ring out in his ear, he felt a chill wash over his body. He only managed to escape after using Flash to get back to his tower. But his Jinx was barely alive, and Kalista had picked up another two kills. He understood in that moment, that he was truly and rightly fucked. There was no coming back from that much of a lead. It was over, Bot lane was lost for his team.

At this moment, the announcer’s voice rang out again from the top lane. 

《An ally has been slain!》

Zhang Hao had taken out the Rumble again. Hao Bro had evolved into Han, because he was stomping all over Top lane solo. And with that kill in the Top lane, the score was now 6-0 with Team Shanghai solidly dominating. 

Gang Zi was on the verge of mental collapse. Why is it like this? Why? Why? Why! None of this makes any sense. This team is way better than I thought they’d be. They’re outclassing us in everything from individual ability to team coordination! That doesn’t make any sense. We’re a Diamond 3 team! How are these high school kids this much better than us? 

While Gang Zi lamented, Qian Lu celebrated. His eyes sparkled with excitement and his shrewd business mind recognized exactly how great of a deal he’d made. Qian Lu understood that fate had smiled upon him and that he’d picked up a treasure. I heard about these high schoolers from my employees, and I looked into them. I knew that Team Shanghai won the Collegiate Cup. But I never understood what that meant or how strong they actually were. Right now though… I’m experiencing their strength firsthand! With my own eyes! I’m standing here watching them clinically dismantle one of the best teams in the area! I… have no words. This Team Shanghai is much stronger than I anticipated or even hoped. This is the best deal I’ve made in my entire life!

It had been 10 minutes since the game started, and Team Shanghai had 9 kills, while the Lads’ Team only had 1. It was an unbelievably pathetic situation, and one that defied expectation. The Lads’ Team was full of players who were ranked Diamond 3 or higher, and they were getting crushed. 

Over in the Bot lane, Tang Bingyao’s Kalista was 4/0/1. At this point, she could single-handedly contend against the Morgana and Jinx. She didn’t need Lin Feng’s Garen around for Support anymore. Which is why Lin Feng took the opportunity to abandon the Bot lane and started roaming around all over the map. “Alright! Hahahaha! Watch me carry, guys. I’m going to start roaming too!” 

Now, logically speaking, a champion like Garen who had no slows, stuns, or roots was not very effective for ganking. Which is why Garen was rarely played in the Jungle or the Support role, and also why Lin Feng’s roaming would’ve been considered silly at best and griefing at worst. But there was an undeniable truth in League of Legends that made it permissible. That truth was that as long as you were ahead enough, it no longer mattered what champion you were playing or what their strengths were. You could do whatever it is you wanted. And what Lin Feng wanted to do right now was roam and gank, which is what he did. 

At 11 minutes, Lin Feng decided Top lane was the target of his gank and started roaming up there. Once he got there, he circled around behind the Blue Team’s Outer Tower and charged towards the low-health Rumble with Decisive Strike!

Right as his blade came down and Silenced the Rumble, Lin Feng also cast Ignite. Then his Garen started spinning around with his blade held out—Judgment! With every rotation, more and more of Rumble’s health was shaved off. But Lin Feng wasn’t content with just that much. Before Zhang Hao’s Irelia could even rush over to assist with the kill, Lin Feng had already pushed down on his R key to activate Garen’s ultimate. Demacian Justice!

“DEMAAACIAAA!” Lin Feng exclaimed.

A gigantic sword of light descended from the sky and reaped away Rumble’s life..

《You have slain an enemy!》

Across the row of tables, the Rumble player was dumbstruck as he watched his screen turn black and white. His mouth fell open, and the shock of it all rendered him speechless. 

6
2

LittleShanks? More like LittleFraud!

Dev Thought: As some of you on the Rise Server might already know (quick plug for the Discord server: https://discord.gg/risethewebnovel), I recently got into One Piece. I’ve tried to watch it a bunch of times before now, but I could never make it past the first few episodes. This time, something clicked and now I’m hooked. I’ve made it all the way to episode 73 and have become a true Nami simp, and I am not planning on stopping until I get to the very end of the anime. I’ve also started reading the manga. That’s a big thing for me, because I’ve never really been a manga guy. I like watching anime. But One Piece, man, this is a special one. It filled the shonen hole in my life that’s been left by too many anime in this whole 12 episode season approach. One Piece is always there, and One Piece will always make me happy.

But in this pursuit of the One Piece, where I thought the real treasure was the friends I made along the way, I unearthed a dark secret. One that I didn’t even know was there. See, when I met LittleShanks years ago, I knew that his name was a One Piece reference. Because LittleShanks self-declared himself to be the biggest One Piece fan and Shanks simp. I never questioned it because I didn’t really know enough about One Piece, and it seemed genuine enough. So when I finally got into One Piece, I rushed to share my joy with the one person in the world who I thought would appreciate what I was currently experience the most. LittleShanks.

That’s when I noticed something was amiss. LittleShanks was not excited about my journey to the Grand Line and beyond. He barely even registered it. So I started digging a little deeper, and discovered that LittleShanks has been a fraud this whole time! He has not watched One Piece in YEARS! Nor is he up-to-date on the manga. He gave up on the journey to watch Luffy become the King of the Pirates years ago, and now considers himself too cool for One Piece. No, folks, this is not a joke. When I started talking to Shanks about One Piece and how excited I was about the whole thing, he gave me a “Oh, that’s cool.” And then immediately proceeded to talk about how he was finally starting to watch the Lord of the Rings movies. Yes, you read that correctly. LittleShanks was more interested in talking about LOTR than One Piece!

Then, in my journey to discover the truth, I probed further and contacted several sources. Some of them have requested to be kept out of the record, all of whom confirmed that LittleShanks has not watched an episode of One Piece since 2016! He also has not been active in the One Piece server, and even left it in 2017! Then Shanks’ roommate and I teamed up to interrogate LittleShanks, where he claimed to have watched over 1000 episodes of One Piece. But the anime currently has a little over 1000 episodes, and LittleShanks has not watched an episode since 2016. We immediately picked up on this lie and applied a little pressure. That’s when LittleShanks admitted that he had not watched 1000 unique episodes of One Piece, but that he had collectively watched over 1000 episodes because he watched all available episodes twice. Something about that statement sounded off to me, so I headed over to the Wiki Pedia for more information. There, I discovered that as of June 2016, One Piece had 746 episodes out. If Shanks watched “every episode twice”, that would mean he watched 1500 episodes. But Shanks specifically said 1000 episodes. The numbers didn’t add up at all.

Folks, if LittleShanks watched “over 1000 episodes of One Piece” because he “watched every available episode twice” as he claimed in his own words, that would mean that he actually stopped watching some time in 2012. That’s right. LittleShanks is a fraud and a liar, and someone who built his entire brand and identity on a fandom he abandoned over a decade ago.

 

#LittleShanksBigLie

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