Two Do Make a Team

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Yu Ping knew that Lin Feng would outplay him. He’d hoped that Rengar’s gank could help his LeBlanc get back into the lane, but he’d played enough against Lin Feng in the last two games and the start of this third game to know that the chance of success was slim. What he didn’t expect was for An Xin’s Lee Sin to be waiting in the brush below the mid lane for a countergank. His eyes grew round and wide and he cursed, “Fuck! Help me!”

An Xin sat behind her monitor and glanced at her right hand. One big play. I got this. She focused back on her monitor and took a deep, long breath. Playtime is over! She clicked on a nearby minion and cast Safeguard! While her Lee Sin dashed towards the minion, her fingers glided across her keyboard and she flicked her mouse towards Yu Ping’s LeBlanc. Sonic Wave! Lee Sin fired a pressurized blast of air at LeBlanc! But instead of dashing at her, he Flashed towards her! He followed up with his ultimate skill, kicking LeBlanc away from her Outer Tower! To close the distance to LeBlanc this time, Lee Sin used Resonating Strike! Lee Sin came in with a strong flying kick! His foot slammed LeBlanc in the face and reduced her health to the last few drops. Then he gracefully landed and slammed his palm on the ground! 

《You have slain an enemy!》

Yu Ping’s mouth fell open. He stared at the different shades of grey on his screen and mumbled, “What the…” He looked around the soundproof booth at his teammates and continued, “What the fuck was that?” But his teammates didn’t have the answer. They looked back at him and shook their heads, incredulous.

At the casters desk, FourEyesChan leaned towards his microphone and shouted, “SHE KILLED HIM! LEE KILLED LEBLANC! THAT WAS SO FAST! WOW!”

Cherry clasped her hands over her mouth and said, “Oh my god! That combo!”

“How the fuck did Lee do that!?”
“LeBlanc couldn’t do anything! She was dead before it even finished!”
“Was LeBlanc bugged? Where is her passive…?”

Zou Cheng from Zhejiang University scratched the back of his head and asked Sun Ruinian, who sat next to him, “How did BunBun do that? Why didn’t LeBlanc’s passive work?”

“It did work,” Sun Ruinian replied with a sigh. He shook his head and chuckled, then explained, “You saw how she held her Q second-cast and Flashed towards LB?” He waited for Zou Cheng to nod and then continued, “The Sonic Wave marks LeBlanc, which makes her passive practically worthless. That ultimate kicked most of the health out from LeBlanc’s health bar, which did proc LeBlanc’s passive. But because of the Sonic Wave, BunBun knew exactly where the real LeBlanc was.”

Qiu Yijie leaned forward to look at Zou Cheng and chimed in, “It was really a fantastic play.”

“Watch!” Fudan University’s Jungler interrupted.

Back in the game, Lin Feng had used the time An Xin needed to kill LeBlanc to strike Team Beijing’s Rengar with a Steel Tempest. It was the second one, and the winds danced along his blade. He paused, briefly, just long enough for An Xin to kill LeBlanc. But not so long that Rengar could escape. He then activated Steel Tempest for a third time. Yasuo swung his blade and unleashed a tornado upon Summoner’s Rift! The strong winds chased down Rengar and knocked him up into the air! This was the opening needed for Yasuo’s ultimate skill–Last Breath!

The instant Rengar got knocked up, Lin Feng hit R. Yasuo vanished and appeared right next to the Rengar, who was just hitting the peak of the knock-up and about to fall back down to the ground, a leap so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. Yasuo unleashed a flurry of strikes with his katana into Rengar’s flesh, each one keeping him in the air a little bit longer. Every slice of the blade cut deep into Rengar’s health bar. Then to top it all off, Yasuo unleashed a powerful slice right into the middle of Rengar’s body that sent Rengar plummeting back down to the ground! And into the arms of a waiting Lee Sin, who added a few brutal auto-attacks to Rengar as he staggered back up. Lin Feng’s Yasuo jumped down to the ground and also started auto attacking Rengar. His blade that cut Rengar’s last ties to life.

《You have slain an enemy!》

FourEyesChan clicked his tongue and said into the microphone, “Damn, that’s rough. Team Beijing gets hit again with a massive setback! Their gank in mid ended with both their Jungler and Midlaner dying, and on the back of that Team Shanghai picks up an uncontested Dragon. It’s really becoming hard here to see Team Beijing making a comeback.”

Cherry sighed loudly into her microphone and chimed in, “LeBlanc needs to win those early trades. If she doesn’t have her core build finished by the end of the laning phase, she’ll have a very difficult mid and late game.” She grimaced and added after a brief moment, “I mean, if she can’t burst down the important targets, then what use does she really have?”

“Well, let’s not give up so quickly,” FourEyesChan argued. He moved his head around for a bit before continuing, “Alright, so it’s looking pretty bad for Team Beijing. But, very importantly, it isn’t all bad. Their LeBlanc has a decent creep score and Team Shanghai’s ad-carry isn’t doing all that outstanding herself. It’s gonna be hard. But if LeBlanc plays this perfectly, then she should technically have enough damage to burst down Team Shanghai’s Kalista.”

Cherry giggled and shook her head. She looked at FourEyesChan and calmly waited for him to finish his analysis. When he did, She leaned towards her microphone and said, “And then there’s Yasuo.”

FourEyesChan grimaced and nodded. “Yep. Then there’s Yasuo,” he said.

The game was going for 14 minutes when An Xin turned her head to look at Lin Feng and said, “Come, we’re going for a walk.”

Lin Feng looked back at An Xin and scrunched his eyebrows. He replied, “What? A walk? We’re playing…”

An Xin shook her head and smiled, then pinged on the Jungle entrance right below the mid lane. “Here,” she said. “We’re going to walk here.”

“Oh!” Lin Feng exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say so!” He then had his Yasuo retreat to the far edge of Yu Ping’s vision and started recalling. He timed this perfectly with a new wave coming. They pushed a bit towards Red team’s outer tower and killed the vision of Lin Feng’s Yasuo right before the recall ended. He then cancelled the recall and followed An Xin into Red Team’s bottom side Jungle.

An Xin said over the team’s voice chat, “Push them to their Tower.”

“Already on it,” Zeng Rui replied. He looked at the bot lane. They’d been pushing Team Beijing back for the last couple of minutes already. The new wave that arrived pushed the lane towards the middle a bit, but after Tang Bingyao killed the first few minions with her Kalista, the lane started pushing into Team Beijing’s tower again.

An Xin and Lin Feng arrived in the brush right behind the bot lane outer tower. An Xin nodded at Lin Feng and said, “You wait here and be ready.”

“Aye aye!” Lin Feng replied, grinning. He theatrically raised his finger and added, “Ready to press the button!”

“Good,” An Xin said with a smile. She then focused on her screen and breathed out through her mouth. Another time! For good measure! She smiled a bit brighter as she ran into the bot lane. Team Beijing’s Jinx retreated a step too far behind her Outer Tower. An Xin reacted to this with a perfectly timed and aimed Sonic Wave! She followed up with Resonating Strike! Her Lee Sin kicked Team Beijing’s Jinx in the face, then stepped behind her and hit her with a roundhouse kick! There was so much power behind this last attack that Jinx flew backwards!

Lin Feng grinned when he saw Jinx flying. He didn’t activate his ultimate right away. The reason being that Jinx was on a collision course with Team Beijing’s Janna. “BOOM!” Lin Feng exclaimed, laughing. He then cast Last Breath! Jinx and Janna were in the air right next to each other when Yasuo blinked next to them and suspended them in midair! He unleashed a flurry of strikes on them, slashing away at their already dwindled health! He then hacked them down to the ground and finished his combo off with a Steel Tempest that pierced both Champions!

《You have slain an enemy!》

《Double kill!》

Zou Cheng jumped to his feet and screamed at the top of his lungs, “WIIIIIIIIN FENG! WIIIIIIIIN FENG!” He was so loud that it sounded over all the other cheers and shouts, and then it gained in volume as the other people in the audience started copying him.


Sun Ruinian looked around him at the audience and shook his head, smiling. “Incredible,” he said. “Simply incredible.”

Qiu Yijie nodded and added, “That’s got to be game.”

Another Dev Medical Story

Typo of the Day: The original end of this chapter as translated by our very own Shanks: “Yasuo was too feed.”

Dev Thought: So… Sietse wrote a thought about something on the news where one Dutch person on vacation found another Dutch person on vacation in Spain and beat the crap out of them twice. I don’t know. It was weird, and I decided that I need to have a talk with Sietse about his news sources. 

Anyways. Today’s Thought. How about a funny medical story? 

Alright. So I was a 4th year in med school and rotating through a Family Medicine clinic/hospital combo. I’d been there a couple of weeks by this point and had a pretty decent relationship with the Attending who was teaching/supervising/evaluating me. She’d seen enough of my work to trust me to handle minor patients and procedures solo with some supervision while she saw other patients. We got through patients faster and it was a good educational opportunity for me. 

Anyways, this day started like any other. I got there in the morning, went through the scheduled appointments so I knew who was coming and why. Saw a few patients, fixed a few boo-boos, refilled some medications. The regular stuff. Then there was a patient scheduled for an IUD insertion. I asked the Attending if I could do the procedure because I’d done it a few times supervised by her and I was certified for it already. She said yes. 

Nurse tells me the patient is ready and in Room 4. I walk into Room 4 and ask, “Ms. Marzipan?” The patient replies with, “Hello!” So I launch into my whole “Hey! I’m Devshard, I’m on Dr. AngryLookingButNice’s service. I see that you’re here for an IUD?”

Patient goes, “Yeah. And a few other things.”

So I go over to the computer and login and open up her chart. Then I go, “Just to confirm, your name is Orange Marzipan, you’re 28-years-old, and your DOB is MM/DD/YY?”

Patient goes, “Yeah, yeah. That’s all right. So I’ve been having trouble sleeping recently and I was hoping you could give me something for that?”

I go, “Yeah, we can definitely do that. Do you still want to do the IUD today or do you want to take care of the sleeping issues first and come back for the IUD placement when you’re more rested?”

Patient thinks about this for a minute. Then she goes, “No. We can do the IUD today.”

And she decides that she’ll get the IUD placed first and then talk about what’s going on with the sleeping issues. So I go out and tell the nurse that we’re doing the IUD placement, patient’s name and DOB confirmed. Then I go to the Attending to let her know that everything is good to go and I can place the IUD. My Attending tells me to take care of it and to come get her if there are any issues or I need help for anything. 

Nurse gets the IUD kit and all the information about which unit we’re putting in, the inventory code, and all that paperwork stuff scanned into the computer. Then she hands me the kit. I go into the room and start prepping the patient and my work bench with everything from the kit. Then I gown and glove up, and start. 

At this point, I’m in between the patient’s thighs and the IUD insertion device is somewhere in her uterus. I’m pulling back on the deployment lever to prime the IUD before advancing it out of the insertion device. 

Which is when my Attending and two Nurses run into the room going, “WAIT! DEVSHARD! STOP!STOP!STOP!STOP!” 

I have no idea wtf is going on. My Attending goes over to the patient and goes, “IS YOUR NAME ORANGE MARZIPAN?” 

The Patient goes, “Hmmm?” 

My Attending starts screaming at this point going, “YOUR! NAME! IS IT ORANGE MARZIPAN?” 

The Patient goes, “No, no. My name is Almond MilkChocolate. Why do you ask?” 


I’m beyond confused at this point. And trying to stay very still because the IUD insertion device is now primed, I can feel the tension from it and I don’t want to accidentally deploy an IUD into what is now apparently the wrong patient. Truly an awkward situation. It’s also an insanely high-tension situation, and I was sweating. Like I could feel sweat rolling down my forehead and slowly going into my eye. But I reply, “No. I confirmed it once when I walked in. She said her name was Orange Marzipan. Then I asked again when I opened her chart. She confirmed her name, age, and DOB. That’s what I told the Nurse when I asked for the kit. She’s Orange Marzipan!”

My Attending actually facepalmed at this point before going, “Devshard. She just said her name was Almond MilkChocolate!” 

I’m still between this Patient’s legs with the IUD insertion device in her uterus as I go, “No! I asked twice. She confirmed her date of birth! She’s clearly Orange Marzipan!” 

My Attending goes, “No, no, no. Orange Marzipan is in Room 7. I just saw her and I can’t open her chart in that room because it says that you’re working on it in this room. That patient is Almond MilkChocolate.” 

I go, “Shit. Uh… Doc, the Mirena (that’s the brand name of the IUD) is primed. I don’t know what to do.” 

Attending walks behind me and she grabs my wrist while telling me not to do anything or let go of the trigger lever. Then she slowly pulled my wrist back, which also removed the insertion device from the Patient’s uterus. Now I’m just sitting there awkwardly with this thing in my hand, still between the Patient’s legs. 

The Attending looks at the Patient and goes, “Your name is Almond MilkChocolate?” 

Patient goes, “Yes.”

Attending goes, “Did my medical student ask you twice if your name was Orange Marzipan and ask you to confirm an age and date of birth?”

Patient goes, “Yes.” 

Attending goes, “Why did you confirm that your name was Orange Marzipan and then say that a date of birth that wasn’t yours was correct?”

Patient goes, “I don’t know. I just came here for some sleeping pills. He asked me a bunch of questions, I said yes because I figured it’d be faster.” 

Attending goes, “He told you several times that you were here for an IUD, right? And explained the procedure to you? Why did you agree to have an IUD put in if you were here for sleep issues?”

Patient goes, “I don’t know. I only wanted sleeping pills. Then he offered to put an IUD in, so I figured why not? Might as well get that too.” 

My Attending looks like her head is about to explode. I’m not shitting you guys here. This particular Attending was a Black woman. And I saw her turning red. Easily Top 10 scariest and most confusing thing I’ve ever seen. But after this truly confusing exchange with this odd Patient, my Attending looks at me and goes, “Devshard. De-glove and de-gown, go sit in my office. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t go anywhere. Don’t do anything. Just sit there until I get back.” 

I do that. Eventually, the hospital lawyers and the police came to get my statement. It was a whole ordeal because no one knew exactly what this situation was about. But my Attending dismissed me early and cancelled the rest of her patients for the day. She went home too. We never talked about that Patient again. I’m pretty sure my Attending just repressed that entire confusing day. 

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