Charmed, Flayed and Round-House Kicked!

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Shanghai High School’s Jungler started his pathing at the Krug Camp, exactly like he did in the previous two games. His Botlaners leashed the monsters and helped him kill them, which got his Elise to Level 2. Then the Botlaners went back to their lane to start farming minions. The Jungler started pathing to his Red Buff camp when Zeng Rui gave him a quiet warning over voice to be careful and keep an eye out for High School 13’s Jungler.  

The Jungler from Shanghai High School made a mental note to double-check around his Blue Buff camp before he started attacking the Blue Sentinel. An Xin took her Lee Sin to the Blue Buff, we spotted him there on a ward right before the Jungle Camps spawned. He won’t have enough health after that to come down and bother me at Red. I’ll be fine. He arrived at Red Buff Camp and started attacking the Red Brambleback.

High School 13’s Lee Sin burst out of the brush next to the Red Buff Camp. “Shit!” Shanghai High School’s Jungler cursed. His Elise was taking a ton of damage from the Red Brambleback and she was in no position to fight Lee Sin right now. “What’s he doing here?” Shanghai High School’s Jungler complained as he slammed down on his F key. His Elise Flashed away, just barely dodging Lee Sin’s Sonic Wave. He’d managed to escape and avoid becoming an early first blood. But he also lost all control of his own Jungle after clearing only a single Jungle Camp. “Shit!”

“Wow,” Silent Reed blurted out before Westwind could say anything! She turned to look at her co-caster and continued, “Wow! That’s really good for High School 13. And really bad for Shanghai High School.”

Westwind laughed and said into his microphone, “The spider got squished! An Xin, High School 13’s new Jungler, just made sure that Shanghai High School won’t be doing any ganking in the first couple of minutes! Go High School 13!” 

To which a large section of the audience shouted back, “Go High School 13! Go High School 13!”

Zeng Rui gritted his teeth. I can’t watch everyone all the time! I warned him! I told him to be careful in the Jungle! I even told him that something felt off and that he needed to check around the camps before he started attacking the monsters!  It was blindingly obvious that he didn’t put as much emphasis as he needed to into those warnings. His Jungler got caught out and was forced to blow his Flash. At least he didn’t die. Zeng Rui glanced at his Jungler and then said over the team’s voice chat, “Play safe. Focus on levelling up.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that. Will do,” Shanghai High School’s Jungler replied, nodding.

An Xin decided not to bother with chasing the Elise after she Flashed away. There was no point in it since Elise’s health dropped low enough that she had to recall back to base for healing. An Xin knew that if she got too greedy for the kill and pushed further out while chasing the Elise, her Lee Sin would be in danger from either the Botlaners or the Midlaner from Shanghai High School. She also didn’t see any point in taking that risk now that she’d achieved what she wanted from this play. And an added bonus. Her Lee Sin attacked the Red Brambleback and killed it, taking Shanghai High School’s Red Buff for herself. Then her Lee Sin left along the same route he used to get there. An Xin smiled, this jungle invasion went exactly as planned. She set her Lee Sin on a path to her own Blue Buff camp so he could attack the Blue Sentinel there. This is only the beginning.

4 minutes into the game, Lee Sin had just finished killing the Red Brambleback on his side of the map. High School 13 was the Red Team, so the Red Buff Camp was located on the top side of the Jungle. An Xin glanced at her minimap quickly, and then set her Lee Sin on a path towards the mid lane. I’ve played way too much with Lin Feng. He started setting up this gank before I even got to my Red Buff! From that one look at the minimap, An Xin knew that Lin Feng had started letting the Syndra push him back in lane a minute ago. Because of that, the Syndra was now too far away from her outer tower to run away to safety!  

Lee Sin entered the mid lane through the brush right above the lane and dropped a ward down right behind the Syndra. Then he used Safeguard to dash to that ward, and slammed his palm down on the ground to slow the Syndra–⁠Tempest!

When Lin Feng saw An Xin place a ward behind the Syndra, he had his Ahri up past the Blue Minions. He’d almost gotten to the Syndra by the time Lee Sin used Tempest. Just as his Ahri entered into attack range, the Syndra quickly Flashed away. He kept running towards the Syndra, but he had his finger pushing the D key halfway down the whole time. There was only one way the Syndra could stop this gank, and that was with Scatter the Weak. This skill pushed back enemy Champions and minions. But more importantly, it synergized with Dark Sphere, another one of Syndra’s skills, to create a combo. If Scatter the Weak pushed a Dark Sphere into an enemy champion, then that champion would get stunned.

That was the combo Lin Feng was expecting her to throw at his Ahri. That was what he was waiting for her to do. And just like he predicted, that’s exactly what the Syndra did. She threw out her Dark Sphere and then blasted it at his Ahri with Scatter the Weak. But Lin Feng was ready and pushed down on the D Key. His Ahri Flashed over the stun and landed right in front of the Syndra. Then she blew out a heart-shaped kiss–Charm! The Syndra fell in love with the Ahri! She lost control of her body and started walking towards the Ahri!

An Xin’s Lee Sin pushed out with his palm, sending out a Sonic Wave straight at the Syndra who was still Charmed. After the Sonic Wave hit Syndra and marked her location, Lee Sin used the second half of this skill to dash towards her—Resonating Strike! He then started auto attacking her. 

While this was happening, Lin Feng ignited the Syndra. Then his Ahri auto-attacked Syndra once and then threw an Orb of Deception! It passed through the Syndra and then came flying back towards the Ahri, dealing magic damage both ways and whisking away the last of the Syndra’s health.

《First Blood!》

“WOOO! WHAT A GANK!” Westwind cried out, slamming his hand down on the desk. The audience screamed, howled and shouted. This was such a clean first blood! It looked completely effortless! Westwind turned to the crowd and clutched his microphone, shouting, “High School 13… FIRST BLOOD! Give it up for LEEEEEEEE SIN!”

Silent Reed looked around the audience. Everyone was going crazy over the Lee Sin. She shook her head and said, “Don’t forget the Ahri. Lin Feng played that really well. Shanghai High School’s Midlaner could take a lesson or two from him.”

There was another gank happening while the audience was still cheering for the first blood in the mid lane. This one was happening up in top lane. The Elise had just finished killing the Gromp, the Jungle monster right next to top lane, and saw an opening. The plan was for her to help Darius attack Chen Ze’s Dr. Mundo, and she started approaching stealthily. The Darius was attempting to maneuver Chen Ze into an optimal position for the gank. It would’ve been a glorious kill and a comeback moment for the Jungler from Shanghai High School. If he’d noticed the ward that Chen Ze had placed near the River. But he didn’t, and Chen Ze noticed the Elise creeping towards him. 

Right as the Elise got in position and started preparing her attack plan, Chen Ze’s Dr. Mundo Flashed away and escaped. If the Jungler from Shanghai High School hadn’t already used his Flash to escape from An Xin at the start of the game, he could’ve used it to close the distance. His Elise could’ve hopped on Dr. Mundo and immobilized him! But Flash was still on cooldown. Shanghai High School’s Jungler could only watch impotently as Dr. Mundo escaped. The gank was a monumental failure. Not only had he not managed to land a single hit on Chen Ze, he also lost precious time he could have used to continue clearing Jungle camps and monsters.

The start of Game 3 was exciting! The invasion, counter-plays, and ganks had everyone watching on the edge of their seats. But after those first few plays, both teams calmed down. The laners focused on last hitting minions and the Junglers farmed Jungle Camps. The first few minutes of this game had not been kind to Shanghai High School. So they opted for a more defensive strategy that focused on building a gold and level lead into the mid-game through farming. This was the smart choice because the players on their team were individually more skilled than the players on High School 13’s team. With the exception of Lin Feng, who was currently doing better than their top lane and bot lane in mid lane. 

Lin Feng’s Ahri hit Level 6 at 6 minutes into the game, which unlocked her ultimate skill–⁠Spirit Rush! This skill granted Ahri three charges to jump in any direction and fire off an essence bolt. Lin Feng used it almost immediately. His Ahri jumped towards Syndra with the first charge. Then she used Charm! A magical heart hit the Syndra, and she started walking towards Ahri. The Syndra’s slow, lumbering steps gave Ahri more than enough time to line up and fire her Orb of Deception! The Orb whacked Syndra in the face and continued forward before abruptly stopping. Then it went straight back towards Ahri’s hands, whacking Syndra in the back of her head. But Ahri had also used Fox Fire right after launching the Orb of Deception. This skill created three balls of enchanted flame that would seek out the nearest target. The Fox Fire hit Syndra right before the second hit from Orb of Deception! Finally, Ahri used the second charge from Spirit Rush to jump up and land right in front of the Syndra. The essence bolt from the skill ripped through Syndra, killing her!

《You slain an enemy!》

The High School 13 students were in a frenzy! This was a solo kill versus Shanghai High School! A solo kill! Of course, this was their team picking up the kill. They were supposed to be impressed and cheering! There were many more, however, finding themselves cheering for High School 13. Amongst them were the coaches and players from professional League of Legends teams watching the official broadcast online. Every single one of them was up on their feet, calling out Lin Feng’s name. From Game 1 until now, Lin Feng was putting on a stunning display of skill. This solo kill only underlined the fact that he was far better than any other player on the Rift! He was so good that he even impressed the professionals!

Lin Feng, of course, was still the same old Lin Feng. He was just having a good time playing the game he loved with the people he enjoyed spending his time with. He patted himself on the shoulder and said over the team’s voice chat, “Hey, did you guys know? I’m really good at Ahri too!”

《An ally has been slain!》

The story in the other two lanes was very different for High School 13. They weren’t doing as well as Lin Feng. Especially the bottom lane, where Tang Bingyao and Wei Dong were having a miserable time. The game went from bad to terrible when Shanghai High School’s Elise came down for a gank. Tang Bingyao barely managed to escape. But she was forced to use all of her skills and her Flash to manage that. And she only made it out after using every tool at her disposal because Wei Dong had jumped in to protect her. Which led to his death.

An Xin clicked over to the bottom lane when she heard the announcement. Wei Dong’s Thresh lay dead on the ground. Tang Bingyao’s Vayne only had a sliver of health left and was currently recalling back to base. Then An Xin pressed the TAB key. Vayne was falling behind in kills and creep score to Shanghai High School’s ad-carry. I can’t let this go on. She smiled and said over the team’s voice chat, “Tang Tang, Wei Dong, hold on. I’ll come around bot for a gank.”

At 7 minutes, Wei Dong and Tang Bingyao arrived back in lane. Shanghai High School’s Botlaners had used the last minute to make the lane impossible for them. The minion wave was frozen just outside of Shanghai High School’s outer tower. Wei Dong looked at his minimap. An Xin was moving down the river, pinging to let them know they had to get ready for the gank. He hesitated before asking, “Are we really doing this?”

“Yep! We are,” An Xin replied confidently. Then she added, “Either you or Tang Tang go in first. Just stun one of ‘em.”

“Mhm,” Tang Bingyao replied, nodding and biting her lips. She focused her attention on the Nami and Jinx, her mouse hovering over one and then the other. I’ll engage! I gotta win this! There was a slight hesitation in the movement of her mouse. She didn’t know which Champion to go for. Do I—

Wei Dong had been playing with Tang Bingyao for a while now, and he’d learned to stop asking questions. Whenever she told him to do something, he did it. And he’d played with the rest of the esports team long enough to trust in his teammates. Whenever one of them told him to do something, he did it. Regardless of what they were asking him to do and how he felt about it. Right now, An Xin had told him to engage, so that’s exactly what he did. He lined up the skillshot and threw a Death Sentence at the Nami. He missed!

Hmm? Tang Bingyao saw the opening before it was even there. The Nami sidestepped the Death Sentence. But in doing so, she left her back to the wall. Tang Bingyao pressed down on the Q key and then the E. Her Vayne Tumbled forward and then lifted the heavy crossbow from her back. She took aim at the Nami and fired! A thick, heavy bolt flew out and pierced the Nami, lifting her off the ground and pinning her to the wall!

Wei Dong pressed his W key–Dark Passage! His Thresh threw a Lantern towards the river, right in the path of An Xin’s Lee Sin! She clicked on it and her Lee Sin dashed towards the Thresh. Then Lee Sin placed a ward in front of the Nami and hopped towards it–Safeguard! He followed up with a Flash to appear behind her and roundhouse kicked her towards Wei Dong’s Thresh and Tang Bingyao’s Vayne with Dragon’s Rage! Finally, he used his Sonic Wave to locate the airborne Nami and dashed out of the tower’s attack range before it could hit him. It also conveniently positioned him right next to the Nami so he could keep attacking.  

Wei Dong had his Thresh use Flay to push the Nami further away from her outer tower, cutting off any possibility of escape. Lee Sin and Vayne rained attacks and skills down on the helpless Nami. From the beginning of this play up until now, there was literally nothing that the Nami could do. She was stunned, launched airborne, pushed, and pulled all while constantly taking damage. Just as one crowd control skill ended, another one was used to render the Nami defenseless and paralyzed against the onslaught. And then finally, one silver bolt too many pierced her! The three silver rings around the Nami exploded, ending her misery! 

《You have been slain!》

Zeng Rui gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. Calm! Stay calm! There was no point in him getting worked up over this. He got caught. The series of crowd control skills that hit him were too precise, brilliantly executed. I should’ve expected that the Lee Sin would come in for a gank! It’s over though. Can’t change the past, need to move on! I need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. He looked at his grey screen and the fight that was still going on. A light descended on their outer tower. The Darius was teleporting in. But he wasn’t there yet, while three Champions from High School 13 were. Shit. They’re going to kill the Jinx. He shouted to his ad-carry over the team’s voice chat, “Go back to base! Retreat! They’re going to towerdive you!”

Shitting on Pets & Tamagotchis

Sietse Thought: So Shanks and I were trying to figure out what to talk about. He was asking me for something I felt strongly about. I started thinking a bit while also reading about the Dragon Dildos people in the Rise Community Discord were talking about, when Shanks comes with his very own “thing he feels strongly about”.

Shanks: “There’s no reason you shouldn’t be allowed to shit on pets.”

Now, the big question here obviously is. What has a pet ever done to Shanks that he got to the point where he feels that shitting on them should be allowed. I have two pets myself. A cat who is really damn smelly after she’s gone to the toilet. That sometimes really makes me want to poop a really disgusting smelling poop just to annoy her. But I mean, on the toilet. Not on her. And my dog, he likes to smell from his mouth after finding cat poop. I can see how you want to make them suffer like we have to suffer. It’s just that… they never pooped on me, so I don’t see the need to poop back on them. Maybe Shanks had a pet that always came to him when he was asleep and pooped on him. Then he’d wake up looking and smelling like shit. And if he had a pet that did that, then yes, he should totally be allowed to shit on his pet.

Shanks Thought: Alright, I see. Back on the poop talk, are we? As in tradition, I guess. I didn’t actually mean physically shitting on your pets in the literal sense! I meant shit talking your pets for being the dumb animals they are! There’s no reason you shouldn’t be allowed to do that! I’m not going to drop a fat dump on an innocent hamster for pissing me off or anything.

I was only thinking that people these days coddle their pets too much. You even see people treating their pets better than their own children sometimes. Then these pets get spoiled to death and develop shitty personalities because their bad behaviour never gets corrected. Like, my aunt’s pomeranian. It’s a little demon that’s nasty to everybody that isn’t my aunt. The four-legged soup filler will try to fuck with you the moment anyone steps into the house. But all of a sudden, I’m the bad guy if I shit on it. “No, that’s how all small dogs are.”, “Smiggins is such a cutie! Why would you ever say that?”, “Just ignore him!”. I can’t discipline another person’s dog. So, at the very least, I should be allowed to shit on it!

Dev Thought: I spent half of today running around trying to get all the paperwork together for a car insurance claim. It was not very exciting. BUT! I had to go to FedEx to overnight all the documents to my insurance company. And there was a tiny little electronics store right next to the FedEx. I walked past it and then I saw they had Tamagotchis in the window. So I walked back, got a tamagotchi, and then went to FedEx. I am very excited about this. 

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