Like You’re One to Talk

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The blue team’s bottom lane needed help. After the failed gank from Rek’Sai, the red team’s Tristana was pulling ahead, dangerously so. She now had two kills under her belt and also had a constantly growing CS lead over Kalista. Everyone watching the game figured that Lin Feng would use his advantage over the Orianna to go down to bot lane and help them out. Prevent them from losing the lane and shutting down the red team’s ad-carry. As far as they knew, an ad-carry with an advantage over the one on the opposing team would only continue to push that lead and widen the gap. That had to be stopped, and Lin Feng’s LeBlanc was the only champion on blue team that could stop that. But Lin Feng knew better, he wasn’t about to win a few skirmishes just to lose the game. Short term gains at the expense of long term losses was not a good strategy, or how games were won. Lin Feng had something completely different in mind.

About a minute earlier, red team’s Jarvan IV had ganked top lane and helped the Rumble kill the Darius. This wasn’t a huge issue for the Darius. He could afford to fall a little behind, especially in the early game. As long as he safely farmed under his tower and scaled into mid game, a single teamfight could see him jump back ahead. This was because of his ultimate skill—Noxian Guillotine. He could leap to an enemy champion and strike a lethal blow with his axe. If he got the kill, the cooldown on his ultimate would reset and he could go again. But the enemy champion he was up against, red team’s Rumble, could not be allowed to snowball. In the early-to-mid game, Rumble only needed a single completed item to decimate the opposing team in a teamfight using his ultimate skill—The Equalizer. He’d fire off a volley of rockets that exploded into a wall of flames, damaging and slowing enemy champions. Hell, even a pair of Sorcerer’s Boots was enough to turn Rumble into a pain for the team he was against.

There was another reason why it was vital not to let the Rumble pull ahead. That was because of the current state of League of Legends, the meta of the game. Some people referred to the current meta as “League of Toplane”. The top laners held so much weight over the direction of the game that they were an even greater threat than the ad-carry. Lin Feng knew that shutting down the Rumble in top lane early and preventing the snowball was an essential objective in winning the game.

At 5:50 minutes into the game, the Orianna was forced out of lane again and recalled back to base. Lin Feng used this opportunity to push out the minion wave, and then disappeared into the fog of war. He roamed through the red team’s top-side jungle and made his way top. Rumble still hadn’t reached level 6 and wasn’t much of a threat without his ultimate.

Lin Feng approached the tri-brush, and started pinging the Darius to engage. The Rumble hesitated for a second, and then started backing up. It looked like he knew something was about to happen, almost like he could sense it or hear Lin Feng’s pings. But he was too far out in the lane. He couldn’t make it back to the safety of his tower before Lin Feng engaged him. “Oh, looks like it’s warded,” Lin Feng mumbled. “Eh… doesn’t matter.”

LeBlanc swiftly passed through the tri-brush and flanked the retreating Rumble. Lin Feng’s pinky and index finger pushed down almost simultaneously, the former a fraction faster. Two malevolent balls of energy—The first a Sigil of Malice and the second a mimicked version—came flying out from LeBlanc’s staff. In the milliseconds before they connected, Lin Feng used Distortion to have his LeBlanc jump onto the Rumble. The two sigils exploded almost simultaneously, and the final crescendo in this orchestra was the splash damage from Distortion. The Rumble’s health dropped to somewhere south of 25%. Then came the Ethereal Chains, wrapping around the Rumble and rooting him in place after a brief delay.

The Darius arrived in the nick of time and hooked the rooted Rumble with his axe. Then he pulled the Rumble back, further from the safety of the red team’s tower, while also slowing him. This was the skill Apprehend. Darius used the time gained from the hook-and-pull with a slow to charge up and spin around, cutting into the Rumble with the sharp edge of his axe which had bonus armor penetration. But it wasn’t enough! The Rumble still had a sliver of health remaining, a brief glimmer of hope, and a chance to escape. But a well-timed auto attack from Lin Feng’s LeBlanc crushed that hope.

You have slain an enemy!

This was LeBlanc’s second kill of the game! Lin Feng looked up at his KDA in the top right corner of his screen–2/0/0. “Awesome! I got it!” he exclaimed happily. There was both joy and art in making sure you got the kill, even in team fights and ganks.

Luo Tianming heard the announcement of the Rumble’s death. He glanced at the minimap and saw the LeBlanc’s icon sitting in top lane. He knew exactly what happened. Storm clouds rumbled on Luo Tianming’s forehead. It took every last drop of self-restraint that he possessed to prevent him from screaming at the rest of his teammates. Only bot lane was doing ok for themselves. But both jungle and top lane were screwing up left and right! Stupid fucking Rumble! Why did you have to throw away your advantage? How can you be so fucking stupid? ARE YOU BLIND? Luo Tianming couldn’t understand how this Rumble fell for the gank. It was so obvious she was coming for you! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! You’re almost as fucking stupid as that Jarvan who fucking walked away from the real LeBlanc to go chase a clone. Fucking trash players. Both of you!

Luo Tianming wanted nothing more than to unleash his ire on his teammates. But all of Luo Tianming’s bottled up rage was about the mistakes his teammates had made. His arrogance prevented him from thinking about his own mistakes. Luo Tianming had been the one who gave LeBlanc her first kill and first blood. He was the reason why Lin Feng’s LeBlanc had started snowballing. But his inability to both perceive and accept his own shortcomings, that didn’t really matter. Not while Lin Feng was there and more than willing to point them out over and over again.

After picking up a kill in top lane, Lin Feng returned to mid lane. Luo Tianming was wary and playing far more cautiously, his Orianna retreated to the safety of the tower. Right now, his Orianna was a level behind the LeBlanc. And he was behind in terms of items too. But Luo Tianming wasn’t too worried. He believed that as long as he continued to play it safe, he could avoid dying at the hands of the LeBlanc. He’d eventually catch up and scale, and that’s when he’d turn things around. The sad part about this was that Luo Tianming genuinely believed this simple-minded strategy would work.

Luo Tianming persisted with his play-it-safe strategy for nearly a minute. His Orianna only needed a third of an experience bar to hit level 6. But she also only had a third of her health bar remaining. This was because a moment ago, Luo Tianming had moved just a step outside of tower safety to last hit a minion. Lin Feng punished him for that right away, chaining LeBlanc’s skills together into a combo that ate a chunk out of his Orianna’s health.

A big minion wave was now pushing towards the red team’s outer tower. Luo Tianming wanted to stay underneath the safety of the tower, soaking up experience. But he was also scared. He wasn’t particularly safe, even under the tower’s protection. The LeBlanc could still jump onto him with Distortion and kill him, then jump back out before the tower got too many hits in. But he’d calculated that her ultimate was still on cooldown, so there was no way for her to burst him down. It was risky to stay and soak up the experience from this minion wave before going back to base and healing. But it was an acceptable amount of risk to Luo Tianming. He was determined to stay, determined to seize every opportunity to turn things around on the LeBlanc!

Suddenly, a figure came burrowing out of the jungle wall behind the wraith camp—located in red team’s top side jungle, just behind the tower. It was Rek’Sai, the blue team’s jungler! He’d come in for a gank! Before Luo Tianming could even react to this act of aggression from a hostile party, the Rek’Sai flashed forward, dug into the ground, and popped up underneath the Orianna. Rek’Sai had knocked Orianna up into the air!

“Oh nice!” Lin Feng exclaimed. His hands blurred into action as he immediately followed up. He jumped on the Orianna with Distortion and then cast both Sigil of Malice and Ethereal Chains on her.

Killing Spree!

Lin Feng’s LeBlanc was now up three kills without a single death! But another announcement sounded before Lin Feng could bask in the glory of his third kill.

Killing Spree!

The red team’s Tristana in bot lane got another kill. Blue team’s Kalista. The Tristana’s KDA was now equal to Lin Feng’s LeBlanc.

“Oh, not bad!” Lin Feng remarked. He didn’t appear the slightest bit worried. In fact, he even had a smile on his face. Perfect! The stronger she is, the more I can show everyone how good my LeBlanc is! There was a more practical reason for why Lin Feng wasn’t worried, too. They were still in the early-game phase right now, and a LeBlanc with 3 kills could do a lot more right now than a Tristana with 3 kills.

9 minutes into the game. Both teams converged at the dragon pit. This was the first team fight objective. Players on both teams arrived at different times from different parts of the map. The ones that got to the dragon pit first poked at each other, waiting for the rest of their teammates to arrive. Or for one of the opposing players to make a mistake and go in too deep. Whichever happened first.

Tristana had just finished buying items. She passed through her own jungle and was making her way towards the dragon pit. As she passed by the Blue Buff camp, a ghostly silhouette brimming with menace dashed out from behind the wall.

Two malevolent balls of energy came flying out from LeBlanc’s staff, dealing magic damage and marking Tristana. Then the Ethereal Chains hit. The two marks from Sigil of Malice and Mimic—her ultimate skill that mimicked the last skill she cast—detonated. Lin Feng cast Ignite on the Tristana before jumping away with the second part of Distortion.


The crowd of first year students gasped, yet again. That sharp collective intake of air was becoming a very frequent sound in the classroom. They were awestruck! The play wasn’t just fantastic, the execution of it was a work of art!

With their ad-carry now dead, the red team had lost the ability to contest the first dragon. After watching his jungler and top laner screw up earlier in the game, Luo Tianming was already close to snapping. And now the only player on his team he thought was decent ended up dying to the LeBlanc! He couldn’t take it anymore! “FUCK ME! Do you even know how to play? I swear you’re griefing! Learn to fucking ward! Retard.”

The Tristana player shot Luo Tianming an angry glare and retorted, “Griefing? You think I’m the one on the team that’s been feeding? Do you even know what you’re talking about? Look at your own damn score before yelling at everyone else!”

“T-that…” Luo Tianming choked on his words. His face turned red from embarrassment.

RiseCrewTV? Nahhh. DFTV? YEP

Shanks Thought: For clarification, the translation team does not live together, though Devshard has been trying his hardest to make it into a reality. DumbfuckTV House is what I think he wants to call it? Listen. It’s not a good idea. It’s a recipe for disaster. We can hardly plan out a trip across Europe together, let alone managing a household. Plus, his parents would not approve. He’s already reaching that age where they’re starting to think he’s gay. How would they react if he suddenly tells them that he wants to move in with a little Asian boy and a Dutch man one day?

Devs Thought: Okay. Listen. I’m Indian, I’m a doctor, and I’ve reached what is considered a marriageable age. My parents are starting to get worried because I talk to a little Asian boy in Scotland and a guy in Holland all day when I’m not working or studying! That’s all! They’d be supportive if I was gay! All they want is to get me married to someone, anyone, regardless of gender. If I told them that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Shanks, they would be happy! They’d throw a lovely Indo-Chinese fusion wedding! Adding Sietse into the mix, that’d be a little too much. My parents are progressive, but not that progressive.

Sietse Thought: It’s like the translating equivalent of a gaming house. A translating house where we sit side by side scre—I mean providing constructive criticism to each other for our own less than brilliant moments. Maybe add a camera and start out small on Youtube before calling the History Channel and becoming the next reality show! Before you know it, we’ll be scripting our conversations. Make them a little more over the top than we usually would. Put some random stranger in an awkward position. You know, the whole nine yards. It’s not as far-fetched as you think. If Duck Dynasty can be a success, anything can.

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