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Lin Feng Stupid, Lin Feng Happy, Lin Feng Fucking Brilliant!

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Team Shanghai had retreated backstage. But where they were sulking and quiet the previous time they were here, now they were smiling, laughing, cheering! Zhang Hao kept moving his balled fists up and down and Tang Bingyao was hopping and nodding in excitement! Only Lin Feng didn’t look happy. He bit on his lips and frowned until he finally said, “Why did they surrender so quickly? I was just getting going!”

An Xin smiled at him and said, “Pretty obvious why, don’t you think? You’re the self-proclaimed starplayer of the team here, you should know.” She briefly paused and winked at him before explaining, “It’s because the match was over. Dragging it out wasn’t going to win them the game.”

“BunBun is right. If they kept dragging, all they’d be dragging is their morale. Down it goes,” Zeng Rui chimed in. He turned his head to look at Lin Feng and said, “They’re not beating us when their morale is low. So they surrendered. It makes perfect sense.” He turned his head away and then smiled. And I finally played a good game too! Serves that thundering dumbass right for writing us off! Fuck yeah! This is how I like to play! It was so much fun to stomp their asses! And to see them surrendering really made it perfect!

Lin Feng scratched the back of his head and laughed. He said, “I guess it couldn’t be helped when I picked LeBlanc. No one beats my LeBlanc! She’s invincible!” He then took a deep breath and looked at his teammates. They did great too. He grinned and added, “Right, right! You guys were all super great too!”

Everyone turned their heads to look at Lin Feng, confused. They were used to Lin Feng patting himself on the back. They knew he always looked at himself in the mirror. It was part of his charm. But he rarely ever gave away compliments, unless An Xin pushed him to. Yet right now, without anyone telling him to do so, he complimented them for a game well played. It was a massive confidence booster!

Zhang Hao leaned back in his chair and tilted his head to look at Tang Bingyao. He said, “That triple at the end was so cool! The way you flashed out of the Orianna ult! Oh my god! I thought for sure you were gonna get caught! I was screaming so hard!”

Tang Bingyao smiled, tints of red dying her cheeks, and replied, “Mhm, thanks. You did well. Everyone did well.”

“BunBun,” Zeng Rui said. He shook his head and chuckled before continuing, “That Jinx dive at the end was great! I can only imagine how tilted Sun Ruinian must be right now! This is so great!”

An Xin smiled and replied, “You’re suddenly talkative. But we shouldn’t lose our heads here. It was a good game and everything fell right in place for us. Everyone deserves massive props for that! Now we need to look forward to the next game!” She turned her head to look at Lin Feng and asked, “And what better way to start that than by asking Vain Feng here if he still doesn’t trust us! So, do you? Trust us, I mean.”

Lin Feng’s grin withered. He breathed in deeply through his nose and closed his eyes. BunBun was right. She always is! I keep falling back in this stupid habit of making a mountain out of a molehill! Every little setback I stop thinking and just fall back to the only thing I know. Me. But I trusted Fatty. I trusted Autumn and Silent. And Eleven! We were so good because I had faith in them and they in me! This team isn’t that team. These guys aren’t that good! But our opponents aren’t that good either. I’m down at their level. It’s about time I accept that. And it’s about time I put some faith in my teammates! He opened his eyes and looked at Zhang Hao. He looks nothing like Fatty, but he’s trying so damn hard just like Fatty always did! He glanced at Tang Bingyao and Zeng Rui. She can’t even look me in the eyes and he just looks mad… But they’re great together! He finally turned his head to look at An Xin. And you, you know me too well. He breathed out loudly and then said, “I’m sorry, guys. I was a terrible teammate. Sorry.”

Zeng Rui, Tang Bingyao and Zhang Hao looked at Lin Feng in a daze. Of everything they were expecting him to say, this wasn’t one of them. There was no grin on his face and no mocking tone in his voice. He looked honest, and sounded the part. An Xin was the only one who didn’t look surprised. She just smiled. Good boy. We’re not changing a habit overnight, but this is a good start.

Lin Feng took another deep breath before adding, “It was my fault. It was. But not because I didn’t carry hard enough. It was because I didn’t have enough faith in all of you. And that’s just terrible. I’m sorry. I’ll work hard to change that.”

“Dude!” Zhang Hao exclaimed. He looked at Lin Feng with his eyes wide open and shook his head. He continued, “There’s no need to go all serious on us here! We know you’re not some narcissistic asshole! Just chill! We’re good! All good!”

Zeng Rui looked at Lin Feng, chewing on his lips. He just… The thundering dumbass… Can I still call him that? He grimaced and shook his head. I was mad, yeah! But I was mad at myself, not you! You were right! I was playing like shit! A B grade Support was having a bigger impact on the game than me! Shit! And now you’re apologizing? No. No! He said, “No. I’m sorry. For not pulling my weight. You woke me up. Thank you.”

“Sorry? Mhm?” Tang Bingyao looked from Lin Feng at Zhang Hao and finally Zeng Rui. Why are they…? What was…? Was he serious? And since when is he apologizing? Did something happen? Did BunBun tell him something? But when could she have done that? I was here the whole time! Maybe when we got off stage? The crowd was so loud! And they were cheering for us! They were all cheering for us!

“Oh, you guys aren’t mad?” Lin Feng asked. He scratched the back of his head and laughed, awkward. I guess… Eh. He shrugged and started grinning again. He then balled his hand into a fist and punched up into the air, shouting, “Good! Perfect! Of course you guys are all good! I picked you! Now we’re gonna win this series and then the national championship! Wooooo!”

Zeng Rui shook his head. There we have him again. The thundering dumbass saying stupid ass shit. He took a deep breath and then said, “You think we’ve already won? We haven’t even qualified for the main tournament yet! Let’s take it one step at a time here.”

“Mhm!” Tang Bingyao chimed in. She nodded and continued, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch!”

Lin Feng waved their worries away and said, “That’s easy! You guys just keep your lanes in check and I’ll stomp mid! I got this!” He then closed his eyes and calmed himself down. Team game. It’s a team game. This isn’t me versus Shi Hang, no matter how much fun that would be! This is Team Shanghai versus Zhejiang University! And Team Shanghai is better! We just are! He opened his eyes and looked at his teammates. Together, we can!

“Guys, come here,” Lin Feng said. He placed his hand in front of him and waited for An Xin, Zeng Rui, Tang Bingyao and Zhang Hao to join him. He then continued, “On three. We’re gonna sweep the rest of this series!

“One, two, three–”

“WE’RE GONNA SWEEP THE REST OF THIS SERIES!”

Zhejiang University spent the 15 minute break between the third and fourth game reviewing everything that went wrong in the previous games. They’d hired an analyst who had joined them in the booth and was working them through the various key moments in the game. It started with the early Jungle invade from An Xin’s Rengar and ended with the scattered teamfight that ended up losing them the game. The more the players from Zhejiang University looked back at Game 3, the bigger the hit was to their morale. They could all see the mistakes, and they all knew these were mistakes they usually didn’t make. Yet in the previous game, overconfidence had slipped in.

Shi Hang had warned Zhejiang University’s team multiple times throughout the first two games to watch out for growing too confident in their own game. He’d explained to them that Team Shanghai was a strong team, and that even with him as a former pro on the team, they weren’t guaranteed victory. But it was exactly the combination of winning the first two games and having the former pro AyDeeCee on their roster that led to the overconfidence that Zhejiang University was now suffering from. And though their analyst explained to them why they were being overconfident, it was difficult for them to change their view.

Throughout the entire speech by the analyst, Shi Hang didn’t once interrupt him. He sat behind his computer and stared at his monitor, focused. Sun Ruinian looked at this from the side, finding himself more than a few times distracted by it. Why does Shi Hang look so serious? He’s playing against a high school kid! A… He shook his head. That kid is going even in lane. That kid is winning! That kid is the entire reason Shi Hang even… He turned his head to look at the soundproof booth across the stage. The players from Team Shanghai were getting settled behind their computers again. Is it really all because of that kid that Shi Hang came back to the team? What is so special about that kid? What is it Shi Hang isn’t telling us!?

“We can’t let them win this game!” Zhejiang University’s analyst said. He looked at the five members of the team and continued, “I want you guys to ban LeBlanc and Rengar. It’s obvious we don’t have an answer for those two right now. And then you guys need to play at the level from the first two games again! Get this win and we’re through to the main tournament!”

“Yeah!”
“Let’s do this!”
“We can do this!”

The players from Zhejiang University all turned their attention to their monitors. Game 4 was seconds away from moving to Champion Select. The teams switched sides after each game, which meant that Zhejiang University was playing on the Blue Team this game. When they got into Champion Select, they banned Zed, LeBlanc and Rengar. Then they locked in Yasuo. Team Shanghai was up next. They locked in Morgana and Master Yi.

Across the stage in Team Shanghai’s soundproof booth, Lin Feng pumped his fist up into the air and shouted, “We’ve won! We’ve already won this game! BunBun and I have played this combo so many times, no one can beat us when we play it!”

The large LCD screen above the two soundproof booths flashed to life! Zhejiang University and Team Shanghai had locked in their Champions for the fourth game of this best of five series and were now waiting in the loading screen for the game to start.

Game 4 of the East China Regional Quarterfinals
Zhejiang University (Blue) vs. Team Shanghai (Red)

Top: Fiora versus Darius
Jungle: Jarvan IV versus Master Yi
Mid: Yasuo versus Morgana
Ad-carry: Kog’Maw versus Lucian
Support: Alistar versus Braum

Silent Reed leaned closer to her microphone and said, “That Morgana pick in the mid lane looks like a direct response to the Yasuo pick by Zhejiang University! I wonder if they picked it to counter Yasuo? She certainly has some abilities that counter Yasuo. Her Tormented Soil doesn’t get blocked by Yasuo’s Wind Wall and her Black Shield stops her from getting knocked up by his tornadoes!”

“Hmm… There is some decent reasoning behind that, Silent Reed,” Rollfire replied. He knitted his brows and looked at the large LCD screen, then continued, “Is Team Shanghai’s Midlaner planning to play it safe? Morgana can sit back and farm relatively safely and she does scale up very nicely! But Yasuo also becomes a monster if you don’t watch out for him!”

Rollfire looked down at Team Shanghai’s soundproof booth and moved his lips around. This stupid kid is playing great on his AP assassins! Why would he change that up now? The only reason I can think of, no matter how much I hate admitting it, is that there is a plan in play here. He picked Morgana for a reason. I’m not going to make a fool out of myself during this game! He picked Morgana for a reason! Probably to scale and win teamfights in the late game? I don’t know. But I’m not going to say anything stupid! I won’t give the Shanghai Stupid Organization that satisfaction!

Welcome to Summoner’s Rift!

The first few minutes of the game were rather straightforward. Team Shanghai wasn’t looking to make any flashy plays. An Xin’s Master Yi farmed the camps in his Jungle while the players in the three lanes focused completely on farming minions. And on the other side of the map, Zhejiang University’s Jungler was so concerned with a possible invade from An Xin’s Master Yi that he didn’t even consider invading himself. He carefully moved through his Jungle, placing down wards in every brush.

At 4 minutes, Shi Hang’s Yasuo slaughtered the Red minions in the mid lane and helped the Blue minion wave push towards the Red team’s outer tower. When his minions marched into the tower’s range, he turned around and started running away.

“Leaving? Already?” Lin Feng blurted out. He then grinned and added, “As if! FLASH!” A mottled flash of light carried Morgana past the Blue minions! She reappeared right in front of Yasuo and cast Dark Binding! The dark magic flew at Yasuo and bound him in place! She followed up with Exhaust and Tormented Soil! A debilitating energy fell over Yasuo and sharply cut into his stats, while a cursed shadow spread beneath his feet and ate away at his health bar!

An Xin’s Master Yi ran into the mid lane from the top side river! She activated Wuju Style! Master Yi’s sword started glowing green, increasing its attack damage! He then swept out at Shi Hang’s Yasuo! The blade cut through Yasuo and kept going! When its momentum ended, Master Yi twisted the sharp side around and cut back the other way! It struck Yasuo again!

Shi Hang’s screen turned red. Shit! 20% health left! Flash already! The dark magic binding him collapsed and his Yasuo broke free! He was still on Red team’s half of the mid lane, so he flashed away towards his outer tower!

This was exactly what An Xin had been waiting for. She smiled and pushed the Q key–Alpha Strike! Master Yi teleported across the battlefield with blinding speed! He became untargetable as he caught back up to Shi Hang’s Yasuo and attacked him!

Zhejiang University’s Jarvan IV came running out of Blue team’s Jungle into the mid lane. He flashed forward and dashed at Master Yi with his flag toss combo! But Lin Feng expected this move. He cast Black Shield on Master Yi! Dark purple magic shrouded Master Yi and protected him from all crowd control skills! The knock up from Jarvan IV’s flag-toss combo had no effect. An Xin’s Master Yi continued chasing after Shi Hang’s Yasuo and attacking him, until his health bar bottomed out.

First Blood!

“Wow… That easy? What happened?”
“That just happened, right? That really just happened? AyDeeCee gave away first blood!?”
“HOLY SHIT! TEAM SHANGHAI LET’S GOOOOOO!”
“WOOOOOOO!”
“OH MY LORD! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?”
“DAYUM! SO NASTY!”

The friends and former teammates from Team Shanghai were sitting in their seats, too stunned to celebrate the first blood. Liu Yue was the first to recover from the shock. He suddenly started laughing and said, “What a crazy combo! Lin Feng pokes, pokes, then engages! And when he has Yasuo locked down, BunBun comes in with her Master Yi! Lin Feng then casts Black Shield on her and she becomes virtually unstoppable! This is so cool!” He jumped to his feet and wrapped his hands around his mouth, then shouted, “Team Shanghai for the win! WOOT WOOT!”

Lin Feng kept pushing and farming minions in the mid lane after Shi Hang’s Yasuo died, until halfway through the fifth minute. He’d gathered enough gold and Shi Hang was trying to freeze the minion wave. So he recalled back to base, spent his gold, and then ran into the bot side Jungle. He followed the winding path and came across An Xin’s Master Yi near the Blue Buff Camp. She followed behind him and together they ran into the river and then down bot.

Zhejiang University’s Botlaners had warded the brush in the river entrance. But it was already far too late for them to retreat when Lin Feng’s Morgana and An Xin’s Master Yi were spotted by it. Lin Feng cast Black Shield on An Xin’s Master Yi and shouted over the team’s voice chat, “BunBun, I choose you!”

“Idiot,” An Xin replied, rolling her eyes back. Her Master Yi was already in the bot lane. Zhejiang University’s Botlaners were running away, desperate. But they were on Team Shanghai’s side of the lane. Master Yi closed in on Kog’Maw and then cast Alpha Strike! He teleported around the map, attacking the minions in his way, before launching a final strike on Kog’Maw!

Sun Ruinian repeatedly clicked on his mouse. He shouted over the team’s voice chat, “ShitShit! Protect me! PROTECT ME!”

“I’m trying!” Zhejiang’s Support replied. He shook his head and continued, “But that stupid Black Shield! I can’t do anything! My crowd control skills won’t do shit!” What do you expect from me!? Look at that Black Shield! You know I can’t do anything! It’s useless! And that stupid shield lasts way too long! What’s the Morgana doing bot anyway!? Why is Morgana bot!?

Zeng Rui and Tang Bingyao were a bit away from the action. Tang Bingyao used her Lucian’s Relentless Pursuit to close the distance, but Zeng Rui needed to be faster. His Braum brought crowd control to the fight which could stop Zhejiang University’s Botlaners from escaping under their outer tower. So he flashed. A mottled flash of light erupted on the Rift! Braum blinked forward and then dashed at An Xin’s Master Yi with Stand Behind Me! Winter’s Bite! Braum propelled freezing ice from his shield that struck Alistar and slowed him!

An Xin’s Master Yi hacked away at Kog’Maw’s health bar! Kog’Maw was a Champion without movement skills and he’d already used his Flash earlier. Master Yi easily kept up with him and one final attack killed him!

You have slain an enemy!

An Xin’s Master Yi shifted her focus towards Alistar. Braum’s Winter’s Bite wasn’t just a slow. The Champion affected by this skill would get stunned if they were hit by three more attacks! Tang Bingyao’s Lucian caught up and fired a doubleshot right as An Xin’s Master Yi slashed out with her sword! They stunned Alistar! Four Champions from Team Shanghai then ganked up on Alistar and unloaded their abilities on him!

Double kill!

“WOOOOOOOO!”
“TEAM SHANGHAI FOR THE WIN!”
“GIRLS BETTER GAMERS THAN GUYS!”
“THE UNSTOPPABLE YIIIIIIIIII-HAAAAAAAA!”
“EASY GAME, EASY LIFE!”
“THE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS ARE STOMPING THE FORMER PRO! HAHAHA!”

Inside Zhejiang University’s soundproof booth, Shi Hang narrowed his eyes. He’d panned his camera to the bot lane and watched the four players from Team Shanghai pushing into the bot tower after An Xin’s Master Yi got the double kill. I should’ve seen that coming faster. But I still warned them! They should’ve backed faster! They… I underestimated his teammates. Maple, Maple, Maple… Well fucking played! I completely underestimated them! Was this your plan all along? Help raise our morale in the first two games just to make the drop in the third game hit that much harder? Gotta give it to you. Nice plan. It’s working incredibly well! He grinned and shook his head. Shit, I want to win this! I just came to play against you a bit. But look at me here! I want to try! You’re making me all competitive again!

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Gender Reveal Parties!

Announcement:

This was another double chapter! You better tell me that you enjoyed it!

Translator Thought:

Sietse Thought: My little brother is getting his first child in a couple of months. Now he and his wife are really into this whole gender neutral stuff. Nothing can be blue or pink. Better to make a cream green or some weird ass colour like that, I guess? I don’t really get this whole gender neutral stuff. Just give the kid the love and attention it needs and when it’s old enough to voice its preferences, listen to it. Yeah, I find this whole gender neutrality kind of stupid. Those kids aren’t old enough to explore and figure out what it is they want.

Anyway, that brings me to the part where I have to think of a nice gift for the child. I’m thinking of buying them a blanket that under normal light is white or green or some other random ass colour that is considered ‘gender neutral’. But when it becomes dark it turns pink and when it gets wet it turns blue. Or something weird like that. I really want to do something stupid with this, where they don’t realize it until they’ve been using it for a while. It’s a slowburn project. But man, knowing my bro and his wife, they’re gonna be funny mad about it. That’s what I’m aiming for here. A gift that looks gender neutral but really is both male and female!

Also, one more thing. Apparently male plus female is not the same as gender neutral, which I think is stupid. Eh, I find all this gender shit stupid. The kid is male or female. Let it figure out on its own what it wants with its life as it grows up. Stupid people projecting their stupid worldviews on babies who are too young to argue back.

Shanks Thought: Sietse should just be happy that the whole gender reveal trend hasn’t caught on in the Netherlands. Though, I guess the Europeans would be a lot smarter about it and not blow themselves up, hopefully…?

Sietse Continued: Shanks coming with the random exploding people part. Lol.

Shanks Thought: Okay, I might be giving Europeans a little too much credit, and they may be just as stupid as their American counterparts. But you have to realize that the Americans are both stupid and competitive. So if they heard that the Europeans are blowing themselves up more than the people in the US, they’ll up the ante with the explosives. Then we’ll have even more news articles about people killing themselves with over the top gender reveal parties.

Sietse Interjection: Shanks just typed ‘heart’ instead of ‘heard’, which reminded me of another typo he made in today’s chapter. According to him, the past tense of ‘to shout’ is ‘shoutet’. Yup.

Shanks: I bet you it is in fact ‘shoutet’ in ye old English. In fact, I’ll even check it for you! 

Sietse Interjection 2.0: Shanks initial sentence above was: ‘I bet you it is in fact ‘shouted’ in ye old English. In fact, I’ll even check it for you.’ before quickly changing it to ‘shoutet’. Idiot. XD

Shanks: I’m reporting back. It is not in fact ye old English. How did we get here from gender neutral baby colours anyway? 

Sietse Replies: Because you’re a dumbfuck who writes in a language that resembles English, but isn’t quite English. And I try to interpret it as English, which is the cause of my balding and graying hair. Thanks for that, Shanks!

Shanks: 😢🙏👨‍🦲

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