Two Damsels in Distress; Where is my Knight in Shining Armour!?

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The scrimmage against Team Shanghai was going anything but great for Shanghai University of Finance. They found out that this group of high schoolers did have what it took to compete at the university level! But Luo Yu and his team weren’t going to give up just because the game was a bit difficult to win. They gritted their teeth and gave it everything they had, slowly closing the gap that had been built up over 12 minutes by Team Shanghai. And by the 17th minute, Shanghai University of Finance’s team was back in it. The gold gap was reduced to only 3,000 gold, and one good teamfight could complete the turn around!

This teamfight had to happen around the Botlaners. The current landscape of the game didn’t really allow for another option. There was nothing really happening in the top lane. Zhang Hao’s Rumble played as defensively as he possibly could, and Team Shanghai didn’t seem especially interested in helping him. His only goal was to build his core items, which he’d finished a minute before, and keep the Fiora from snowballing any harder. So there was no way to force a teamfight here for Shanghai University of Finance’s team.

The mid lane was the polar opposite of the top lane. Luo Yu’s Twisted Fate had fallen far behind Yasuo in both kills and minions. And he kept getting pressured harder and harder. The worst part was that Yasuo had destroyed his outer tower a few minutes earlier. So now he couldn’t even stay in lane, except for when Yasuo went back to buy items. But those few seconds weren’t going to help Luo Yu get back into the game. He needed to find ways to initiate a teamfight and pick up multiple kills just to become relevant again.

Luo Yu stared at his monitor and frowned. His Twisted Fate huddled next to the mid inner tower, the only place where he felt somewhat safe. Who is this Yasuo? I don’t remember seeing his name on the Challenger leaderboards. Maple… Maybe he’s new? He is only a high schooler, so I suppose that could be it. I need to look this up. He shook his head. How is knowing who he is going to help? I’ll just know that it’s not some random player but a Challenger who kicked my ass. No, his rank doesn’t matter. Right now, all I need is to find a way to beat him. We can’t lose this game! We’re still the university’s main team! It’d be way too embarrassing if we lost to a high school team.

Luo Yu wasn’t the only one starting to worry. No one on Shanghai University of Finance’s team wanted to lose this particular game. This was for their pride! They didn’t see themselves ever leaving this booth if they lost, because then they’d have to endure the contempt and mockery from their fellow students. Nor would they look at their phones, for the internet was far more cruel than their peers could ever be in person. It was with that knowledge that their faces burned red as they pushed every last bit of their focus towards the game. If they wanted to walk out of this game with their heads held high, they had to not just beat these high schoolers, they had to stomp them!

“We’re going to become a joke if we lose this,” Qiu Le mumbled over the team’s voice chat. He hit the TAB key and looked at the score. His Tristana was down on kills and almost 40 CS behind the Kalista. He slammed his fist down on his desk. “FUCK!” He gritted his teeth and said, “I want that Kalista dead! I’m not going to lose to some high school girl!”

“Yes. She needs to die,” Huang Yang nodded slowly, furious. His last death was still fresh on his mind. Kalista had baited him, and then killed him. I got careless because she was a girl! He smacked his cheeks and focused on the game again. The Seju too, She messed with my Jungle pathing, and counter jungled the crap out of me.! He looked over the edge of his screen through the window of the soundproof booth. There are so many people watching. I won’t let those two beat me in front of so many people! He looked at Qiu Le and said over the team’s voice chat, “We’re going to kill her. Just keep vision on her. She’ll make a mistake. We just have to be ready for it! I want to see her dead!”

Tang Bingyao cleared the minion wave in the bot lane and then glanced at the minimap. The Red Buff was up. The first two were usually for the Jungler, but after that the ad-carry started taking them. So when the game clock said 17:45 minutes, she tracked into the Blue team’s bottom side Jungle and started attacking the Red Brambleback.

Huang Yang had learned from watching professional teams that keeping tabs on when the various important monsters respawned could give the team a big advantage. Following this logic, he’d paid close attention to the Blue and Red buff respawn times for the Blue team. He panned his camera towards Team Shanghai’s Red Buff Camp and had his Jarvan IV run towards it. That should be up right about now. Let’s hope Kalista is being greedy and taking it by herself.

Huang Yang placed a ward in the brush right next to the Red Buff Camp, giving him vision of the monster. And of Tang Bingyao’s Kalista attacking it by herself. The Red Buff was at half health. Huang Yang smiled. He pinged on the ward and said over the team’s voice chat, “Tp, Fiora!” Then he dashed at Kalista with his flag-toss combo!

Tang Bingyao was fighting the Red Brambleback, but never lost focus. She scanned the map and noticed the Botlaners moving up into the river. Something’s wrong. She focused her camera on Kalista and then glanced at the minimap, searching for a sign of Jarvan IV. Then she saw him, jumping at her from the brush next to the Red Buff Camp. She flashed away, dodging the knock up.

“FUCK!” Huang Yang cried out as he slammed on his R key! Cataclysm! His Jarvan IV leaped up into the sky, right above Tang Bingyao’s Kalista, and then slammed down to the ground! He struck the ground with such force that it terraformed into a massive arena, locking the two Champions within!

Luo Yu said over the team’s voice chat, “I’m coming!” Then he activated Destiny, Twisted Fate’s ultimate. The fog of war evaporated. Shanghai University of Finance’s team knew exactly where everyone on Team Shanghai was. There was no hiding from Twisted Fate’s all-seeing eyes. He followed up with the second part of his ultimate, Gate! Playing cards spread out in a circle around him, opening up a portal.

The crowd watching the game in the clubroom, including the university’s second team, erupted in cheers again! Their team had fallen behind early, but that made the game only that more interesting to watch! Especially since their team was making the comeback happen!

WOOOOOOOO! We’re winning again!
DAYUM! The timing on that TF and Fiora! Crazy perfect!
Don’t forget Huang Yang! He created that opportunity!

Shanghai University of Finance’s team had planned the gank perfectly. Not just because they found Tang Bingyao’s Kalista alone and out of position, but also because they could have their Fiora Teleport in, while the opposing Rumble was stuck in the top lane. Rumble had used his Teleport earlier to get back to lane. This fight was the opportunity for Shanghai University of Finance’s team to close the gold gap completely!

Fiora finished channeling her Teleport. She Lunged forward, closing the distance towards Tang Bingyao’s Kalista. Jarvan IV cancelled his Cataclysm to allow Fiora in. There was no escaping for Kalista, even without four walls locking her in. Fiora targeted Kalista with her ultimate skill—Grand Challenge. All four vitals points on Kalista’s body were revealed to Fiora. She thrust her rapier at Kalista’s heart, piercing the first Vital.

Tang Bingyao’s Kalista was quickly losing her health. The Jarvan IV was hurting and now the Fiora, who packed quite some damage, was also slashing away at her. But she didn’t panic, or lose focus. She stared at her screen, refusing to blink, afraid to miss even the most minute detail. When her health dropped down to half, she used the Summoner Spell Heal. Her health was right back up. I’m still alive. I won’t let him kill me. Mhm! This isn’t over.

Luo Yu’s Twisted Fate stepped through the portal and arrived right next to Kalista, a Gold Card already hovering over his hand. He targeted Tang Bingyao’s Kalista and—

An Xin had arrived at the fight. She charged forward, straight through a jungle wall, and slammed into Twisted Fate–Arctic Assault! Twisted Fate was flung up into the air, cancelling his attack. An Xin then activated Sejuani’s ultimate, Glacial Prison! Sejuani threw her bola at Twisted Fate and froze him solid! An ice storm erupted around the Twisted Fate, slowing and damaging all nearby enemy champions!

An Xin had thrown caution to the wind in a desperate attempt to save Tang Bingyao. And she’d succeeded in the initial charge. But the last two members from Shanghai University of Finance’s team had arrived. Morgana cast a Dark Binding, rooting An Xin’s Sejuani, and Tristana Rocket Jumped into the fight and then activated Rapid Fire. Her cannon’s muzzle ignited, flames blazing along its body. She fired cannonballs at Team Shanghai at a frightening speed!

Tang Bingyao bit her lips. She was caught in a 2vs5. And the only reason it was a 2vs5 and not a 1vs5 was because An Xin charged in at the risk of her life. I can’t let her down. And I won’t let him kill me! Mm-hm! Her mouse clicks went faster and faster, each next one more accurate than the last. She glanced at her minimap. Come on. We need help. Please don’t let them kill us like this! Her health was dropping fast. The Fiora was on her and one attack away from striking the fourth Vital on Kalista. If she succeeded in doing that, a large healing field would appear on the Rift. Team Shanghai would lose if that happened.

Right then, Zeng Rui arrived. He flashed towards Tang Bingyao’s Kalista and then Headbutted the Fiora away before she could slash at Kalista’s fourth Vital. And then a familiar voice sounded out over the team’s voice chat. It was Lin Feng’s. “Tang Tang! Let’s kill them all!”

“Mhm!” Tang Bingyao activated her ultimate skill, Fate’s Call! Kalista reached out towards Alistar, pulling out his spirit from his physical body and storing it in her own body.

Zeng Rui waited a brief moment. Then his eyes flickered. Three Champions from Shanghai University of Finance’s team were standing too closely together. He barreled towards them, his Alistar regaining physical form after erupting from Kalista’s body. He slammed into Twisted Fate, Fiora and Jarvan IV! Then he balled his massive fists and slammed down with every last ounce of power in his body. PULVERISE! The earth cracked beneath his fists and the three enemy champions around him were tossed up into the air again!

Tang Bingyao smiled. This wasn’t a game in the solo queue, she was playing together with a team! Four other players she trusted with her life! And they trusted her. They came to save her. They’re all here! We’re winning this! She glanced at her minimap. There was only one more person she was waiting for. He was almost there. Luo Yu also saw this. His pupils shrunk. Fuck.

“Nice job, ZengZeng!” Lin Feng shouted. “Now it’s my turn!” The Twisted Fate, Fiora and Jarvan IV were still in midair. He targeted them with Yasuo’s ultimate skill. Last Breath! Yasuo blinked towards the three enemy Champions and suspended them in midair. He followed up by slashing at them with his katana. And again. And again! Then he raised his weapon high above his head and with all the power he could muster, he hacked down on the three champions from the university team. The immense force slammed them into the ground!

Rise Team Strips for Subs?

First of all, we want to thank everyone who participated last night in our very first real community event! We all had a blast and we were really happy to see so many of you staying around even after the action ended! There were players as high as Master rank and as low as me (Sietse) who hadn’t played the game before! As could be expected, I ended dead last. I was out before some other groups had even started their game. To close a successful event off, here is the final ranking for the top 3!

1st place: Fortcolors
2nd place: Shock
3rd place: Thingsandstuff13 (I know, we all had a hard time believing this.)

But enough about that. Let’s move on to today’s thought!

Sietse Thought: I was browsing Twitch today, which I like to do. There are many great content creators, and sometimes they do something so brilliant that you immediately start thinking about using that technique yourself. Well, that’s what happened today. I was browsing through the top streams in Just Chatting, when I came across this one stream. A girl was standing in front of a white wall. She’d drawn a tree with the letters ‘NA’ above it on one side, and a tree with the letters ‘EU’ above it on the other side. The stream title was something along the lines of: “NA vs. EU, let’s have a battle! Get points and your name on the wall by subscribing!”

That was the entire concept. This girl stood in front of her wall, barely dressed, and was giggling and chatting with her viewers. I was a bit confused at first. But the more I watched, the more impressed I became. This girl had literally thousands of people watching her standing there. They were paying her money just to have their name up on the damn wall. She was making hundreds of dollars an hour by standing in front of a camera, loosely dressed, giggling and chatting. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

The only logical next step for me was to figure out how to apply this strategy to Rise—


Sietse (Continued): As I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted by Shanks, was that there has to be a way we can make this strategy work for Rise. We also like to stream every now and then. Just last night, we had a great stream! But we didn’t have thousands of people watching us, nor were they throwing money at us for writing a name on a wall. So I dusted away the cobwebs in my head and really started thinking.

That’s when it hit me.

We’ve got four super sexy dudes here. G-boy J-fire! ‘Totally not simping on piano girl’ Devshard! ‘I’m too old for this shit’ Thingsandstuff13! And me, of course, Sietse Thundercock! This is where it gets interesting. This girl was by herself, so she couldn’t add unlockable content. We’ve got four super sexy dudes. We can! So here’s my future Rise business proposal:

We vote for the least sexiest Rise crew member. They stream themselves standing in a room next to three cardboard figures. The cardboard figures are wrapped up in police tape. We can’t really make out who these three people are. But! Every subscription, we rip one piece of police tape off. Bit by bit it gets revealed who the cardboard figurine is. And when all the police tape on it is gone, you’ve unlocked it! Now you, as the viewer, can vote who you want to watch standing in the room, giggling and chatting with y’all!

Shanks Thought: I have never been so utterly confused and disgusted in my life…. POLICE TAPE!? Is this a crime scene!? Are we murderin’ cardboard Devshard?! I’m totally down for it. Brilliant concept, Sietse! Poor execution! Why are we having people pay us to reveal cardboard figures ourselves! We could just sell people their very own cardboard Thundercock! We’d make way more money that way. It’d fly off the shelves.

One problem though, none of us are super hot girls, so I don’t know how much attention we’d attract. We aren’t necessarily super hot guys either. Aslo, the four of us, including ThingsAndStuff? What are we a boy band? Are we trying to be the BTS of the translation scene!? Well, actually, if we put it that way… I think we might have a chance.

Sietse Interjection: Hold up. Hold up! Are there guys on Twitch who’ve actually tried copying this technique? I haven’t found any evidence of that! And I’m convinced there are plenty of people out there who would love nothing more than to stare at us as we stand there loosely dressed, giggling and chatting with the viewers!

Shanks (Continued): I think I just dry heaved.

Sietse Thought: Stop whining you lil’ bish! And start looking for your sexiest outfit!

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