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Maid Feng

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“WHAAT?” Su Xue cried out. After welcoming An Xin, Su Xue had rushed back to the kitchen to put the finishing touches to the late night snacks she’d been preparing. She’d brought them out, allowing Lin Feng to attack the plates of food, and started talking with An Xin. That was how she learned An Xin and Lin Feng had been friends since elementary school. She couldn’t wait for An Xin to explain it in any more detail as she started firing off questions, “You knew Little Feng? How was he? Just as stupid as he is now?” She giggled at her own joke, then leaned back in her chair and sighed. “Wooow. So you guys go way back.”

“Yeah, we do! We go way back!” Lin Feng interjected. Then he started grinning and added, “She used to be so chubby, you wouldn’t believe it. Oh! You know those meat buns? She was fat just like one of those!”

An Xin pointedly ignored Lin Feng and nodded at Su Xue, saying, “Yeah, we do.”

Su Xue looked at An Xin and shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it,” she mumbled. “You’re nice and beautiful and way too good for this stupid kid… I don’t know what he did in his past life to deserve a friend like you, but he better count his lucky stars.”

An Xin smiled at the compliment and replied, “You make it sound like you’re not far prettier than me! And you’re pretty amazing yourself too! Lin Feng mentioned that you’re a League streamer, so I’ve been catching some of your streams. You’re always online and you’re working so hard to make everyone feel welcome! Your viewers love you! You managed to create a place where everyone feels welcome. That’s really impressive!”

Su Xue started blushing from all the compliments and said, “No, no, you’re exaggerating! It’s not that good. I’m still working really hard to get to that point… Also, my viewers don’t love me. Those ungrateful degens are always making my life miserable. Just yesterday…” She started recounting all the terrible things her viewers had said to her over the last couple of days and how they drove her crazy.

An Xin listened to Su Xue ranting about her viewers, smiling at the passion behind Su Xue’s words. This wasn’t the I will murder you-smile that she gave Lin Feng all the time, but rather a normal, friendly one. When Su Xue briefly paused to catch her breath, An Xin said, “I’m really not exaggerating. You’ve done something really special. You bonded with your viewers. They see your community as a family. That’s not something most people can pull off. You should be very proud of yourself. I know I’m impressed.”

Su Xue started smiling and then grinning. An Xin knew just the right words to say. That was exactly what Su Xue was trying to do with her stream! To create a community where everyone felt welcome, a community built around having a good time together. And someone noticed that without her saying it. That was all the proof Su Xue needed to confirm that the hard work she was putting into her streams was worth it. 

“Yeah! Su Xue is just a little insecure! She doesn’t believe that her viewers are only teasing her! But it’s so obvious! She does put in a lot of effort to make them happy, though,” Lin Feng chimed in.

“Hey, hey! I’m not insecure! I know it’s all in good fun, you stupid punk!” Su Xue shouted back, glaring at Lin Feng. Then she turned back to look at An Xin and asked, “So you moved here last week from Hangzhou?”

An Xin nodded and said, “Yes. It’s barely even been a week.”

“So pretty much since Monday, huh?” Su Xue mumbled. That’s right around the time Lin Feng stopped sulking… He should’ve just told me he missed her… Stupid kid. Stop making me worry about you for nothing. I’ll get back at you for this! She glared at Lin Feng, then threw her thoughts of revenge to the back of her mind and focused her attention back on An Xin. She put on a smile and asked, “Oh, right! You said you watched my stream? Does that mean you also play League?”

“Yeah, she does! She’s really good! Oh! Oh! She’s coaching our team! Didn’t you see? She was standing in the back during Champion Select!” Lin Feng interrupted. “Also! Also! We made it to the Finals!”

Su Xue laughed and said, “Yes! I caught the last bit of the third stream. But you little punk should’ve told me something about the livestream! If it wasn’t for my viewers pointing me to it, I would’ve never even found it! Your Olaf was really good though. Did BunBun tell you to play him? She’s the one who came up with the strategy, right? Isn’t that what a coach does? That’s what I always see in the LPL and at Worlds!”

Lin Feng nodded and said, “Yep! She did! She’s a great coach! If only she was anywhere as good as me at playing the game…”

“Say what?” An Xin asked sternly, looking at Lin Feng with that infamous smile of hers. “Say that again. I dare you. I double dare you.”

Lin Feng grinned and then corrected himself, “err, playing the game at my level! It would be more fun if you were just as good as I am! All I meant is that you’re just a little bit worse than me… You’re not bad. You’re very good! Really!”

Su Xue laughed at the two high schoolers squabbling with each other. Then she turned to look at An Xin and asked, “I’ll be streaming in a bit. Want to play some duo queue?”

“Sure! I’d love to!” An Xin replied.

Lin Feng looked at the two girls, confused. Game? But BunBun didn’t bring her laptop… What are they so excited about? Did they forget? He licked the grease from his lips, then said, “Uh, how are we going to play a game? There’s three of us and only two computers. You know BunBun didn’t bring her laptop, right?”

“Three of us? I asked her, not you,” Su Xue said.

An Xin giggled and said, “It’s fine, it’s fine. How about this, Lin Feng. You can be in charge of getting us drinks and snacks!”

The thought of being reduced to maid duties scared Lin Feng into action. He quickly came up with an excuse and said, “Wait! Look at the clock. There’s no time to play a game. How are you going to get home in time? You need to sleep early. Tomorrow is the game against Shanghai High School and you still need to come up with a strategy for that!”

An Xin raised her eyebrows and shut Lin Feng down, “Oh, don’t worry. I’m sleeping here tonight. I told my parents before I left for school this morning. Didn’t you ask me to stay over yesterday? Yep, that’s totally how it went down. By the way, mom and pa asked me to say hi for them. Hi.”

“That’s settled then,” Su Xue said, waving her hand. “She can sleep in my room. Or she can sleep in your room and you can sleep on the couch. We’ll figure it out. I’ve got some spare blankets. But let’s worry about that later. Finish your food first so that we can start playing some League!”

Su Xue started up her stream, pointing the webcam at only herself. Lin Feng had brought his laptop over and put it down next to Su Xue’s computer. An Xin sat behind it, while Lin Feng stood behind the two girls. Viewers started joining the stream and they quickly flooded the chat, angry at how long it’d taken Su Xue to grab a late night snack.

Holy shit girl… Eat faster please…. I can only keep going without you for so long…..
I ALMOST DIED OF OLD AGE WAITIN FOR YOU!!!!!!
ssssssooooooooooooooooooo slllooowwwwwwww…… I FELL ASLEEP!!
MAH GOD! Slowpoke is faster than you are! Snorlax woke up before you finished your snack!

Lin Feng leaned over Su Xue’s shoulder and entered the frame of her camera. The viewers noticed him immediately and started congratulating him for his win in the Shanghai 16 School Tournament Semifinals.

oh shit! it’s the raid boss himself!!!
LIL BROOOOOO!11!1! WE MISSED YOU!1!!!!!」 
TEACH ME OLAF PLS< SENSEI!!
WE SAW YOU PLAYING TONIGHT<< LIL BRO! Your olaf is dirty!
so sick third game. hands down best olaf world. GRATS MY FRIEND!!

Lin Feng scratched the back of his head, grinning like an idiot. He absolutely loved it when people complimented him. It didn’t matter who gave them. He just liked receiving them. “I know, right?” he started. “We 3-0’d them! Did you all see how good my Olaf is?”

“Oh please… Not this again. Get a room already!” Su Xue said, exasperated. Then she pushed Lin Feng away and announced to the viewers, “We’re going to play some duo queue tonight!”

NICE! carry her lil bro!!
YUSH! Another lil bro and maid episode! THESE ARE THE BESSTTTT!!!!1!
get playing already! i wanna seeeeeeeee
CARRY HER LIL BROOOOO!!!!!!

“Oh, sorry guys. I’m not playing with Lin Feng today,” Su Xue interrupted. Her stream chat reacted as if she’d poured a bucket of ice cold water over their burning hot enthusiasm. As if she took away all the joy and happiness from their lives. They took it upon themselves to flame her and tell her exactly how dumb it was to duo queue with anyone but Lin Feng.

HUHHH!? WE ONLY CARE ABOUT LIL BROO!!!!
IT”S TIME TO RISE AGAINST THIS TYRANNY! TEAM UPRISING! TEAM UPRISING!
LIL BRO OR I GO! LIL BRO OR I GO!!!!!!!
I”M ONLY HERE FOR LIL BRO!!!! GO AWAY STUPID MAID!!!
i really wanna see godlee, not whoever the fuck this other person is……

“Oh, I see… You guys sure about that? You’ll make someone very sad,” Su Xue said. Then she turned her webcam so that An Xin was also in the frame. “I was planning to play some duo queue with BunBun here. But since you guys don’t want to watch two pretty girls playing League, whatever I guess. I’ll just turn off the stream and go to bed early for a change.”

An Xin waved at the camera, smiling, and said, “Hi, guys!”

The viewers needed a moment to process this reveal. They forgot all about Lin Feng and focused their full attention on An Xin. She was stunning. To them, she was the most beautiful girl on the whole world wide web. The viewers channeled their inner degen. They readied their hands, placed them on the keyboard, and started flooding the chat.

Typing with both hands to prove innocence!
Typing with both hands too prove innocence!
Typing with BOTH hands to prove innocence!
TYping with both hands to prove innocence!
Typing with both hands to prove innocence!!
Typing with  both hands to prove innocence!
Typing with both hands to prove Innocence!
hey hey are you better than xue xue?? Wanna duo with me? I’m Diamond 1. You can add me. My tag is: WaterWraith
Tping with both hands to prove innocence!
Typing with ALL THREE hands to prove innocence!
Typing with both hands to prove innocence!
Typing with b0th hands t0 pr0ve inn0cence!
Typing with BOTHhands to prove innocence!
Typing with both hands to prove innocence!!!!!
Typing with both hands to prove innocence!

Lin Feng stared at the chat. They were his loyal bros a moment ago, but now they’d forgotten all about him! The compliments were gone. The demands for him to play were gone. Every mention of him was gone. He pushed past Su Xue and grumbled, “Hey! What about me? I thought you guys wanted to see me play!”

eh it’s fine.. We already watched you today in the tournament
you can go pour drinks for BunBun!
yeah, be a good host and go get BunBun some water!
Haha MAID FENG! MAID FENG!

Lin Feng watched the chat in stunned silence. He didn’t know what to say or do, except to slowly move away from the screen. He hoped nobody noticed the “Maid Feng”message, or that they’d forget about it quickly even if they did. Meanwhile, Su Xue was just enjoying the moment. How do you like that, you little punk! Finally getting a taste of your own medicine! Maid Feng! Ha! This is awesome. Maybe I should buy him a maid costume. The viewers would love that… Have him walk around in it as a sub goal, hahahah!

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5-O & PureBois

Shanks Thought: Sietse was complaining to me about police sirens today, and it reminded me of the time when two police officers came to the flat I was living in last year. Apparently, it was reported that we were doing drugs in our flat and they were responding to a call. So, imagine the look of surprise on my face. Me, a little Asian boy who’d never done any drugs in his life. Anyway, they searched our flat, found nothing, and left. So I just assumed it was a false report and put the thing behind me. But later that week, I was cooking in the kitchen and one of my flatmates came in. We were chatting about random things, and the police visit came up and I was telling him how weird it was. Then my flatmate goes, “Oh, I think I know what it was about.” He goes into the fridge and pulls out a large margarine tub…

Sietse Thought: I was just complaining that the cops kept me up last night. Not because they rang the doorbell or barged into the place or anything. But because these idiots felt the intense urge to flash their sirens for what felt like an hour. I just kept seeing the red and blue flash through the curtains and light up the entire damn apartment. In fact, I was so annoyed with them, that I continued cursing them. But I was nice and comfy and warm, so I refused to get up. Anyways, that’s not nearly as interesting as the mental image I have of Shanks opening the door to the cops. I’m just picturing him freaking out… you know, getting all nervous and looking guilty as fuck. Those cops probably went straight to his room and threw the whole place upside down, thinking they had struck gold. Little did they know, Shanks wouldn’t even try a sniff of weed while he was in Holland. Those cops wasted their time. AND PROBABLY ANNOYED SOME POOR SOUL WITH THEIR STUPID SIREN LIGHTS!!!

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