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Old Huang jumped up from his chair. He balled his fist and screamed into the microphone, “Yeah! Nice! You got this! Jump and kill! Jump and kill!”

Cup Noodles laughed. Vayne was dead! His Tristana got the reset on her Rocket Jump! And there were still three opponents waiting to be killed! “Ha!” he shouted. “It’s about damn time! Let’s clean this fight up! Haha!”

Nami took a silver bolt to the knee and Vayne got done in by the cane. Two dead. Five alive. The 3v4 became a 2v3. It still looked like a difficult situation for Blue team. Tristana and Nasus had to kill Thresh, Jarvan IV, and half a Riven. Half a Riven because she was so far behind that she really couldn’t count for a whole Champion. But Lin Feng didn’t mind the challenge. He welcomed it! His Nasus was 5/1/0 and it could be 8/1/0 by the end of this teamfight! That was all he needed to know. So he clicked towards his next victim, shouting at his screen, “Haha! 2vs3! Easy! Let’s get these kills! Haha!”

The Jarvan IV turned around, around to his side of the map. Because that was where the Tristana was, closer to his own outer tower than he was. He closed the distance towards her with a flag toss combo, then jumped up high into the sky. His vision locked onto the Tristana. He screamed at the top of his lungs. And then he leaped down from the sky, crashing into the Tristana and then the ground. The residual force was so powerful that the earth terraformed into an arena–Cataclysm!

There was only one logical direction for the Tristana to escape in. Red team’s outer tower. Away from the Jarvan IV that was in the arena with her. Away from the Riven that was charging at her with her reforged sword. Away from the Thresh that could lock her down completely with his crowd control. Her Rocket Jump was off cooldown after killing the Vayne. So she aimed her cannon towards the ground and fire, launching herself up in the air and over the arena walls, away to safety.

Lin Feng placed himself between the Tristana and three Champions from the Red team. His Nasus was the tank. A tank with high health and high damage. He pinged the Riven, the half a Champion, and shouted at his screen, “Go for her! Attack the Riven!”

There was no voice chat. There was no way for Cup Noodles to hear Lin Feng’s instructions. But he didn’t need to hear them. He was a Master player and knew exactly what was expected of him. He pressed down on the Q key–Rapid Fire! His Tristana’s attack speed increased. She turned around and focused all her firepower on the Riven.

The Riven and Jarvan IV went to town on Lin Feng’s Nasus, throwing all their abilities at him. But they barely scratched him. The sandstorm raging around him dealt more damage to them than they did to him. Then his staff lit up with a purple fire. He raised it up high and then slammed it down on the Riven–Siphoning Strike! Her health disappeared.

The Tristana and Nasus’ damage together brought the Riven to below half health. And lower. She turned around and ran. She dashed towards Blue team’s outer tower, past the Thresh. The Thresh who activated the Box. This was his ultimate skill. He called forth five spectral walls around him, which slowed any enemy Champion that walked through it. The Nasus was next to the Thresh, caught in this prison. But he didn’t give up on his chase. He charged through the spectral wall, accepting the slow. Then he raised his staff and cast Wither on the Riven. Her body withered. She aged 50 years in the span of a single second. It became hard to walk.

Slow versus slow. But the slow on Nasus wore off first. Lin Feng had his Nasus chase down the Riven. Then he pressed on the Q key–Siphoning Strike. The Riven had a little more than a third of her health remaining. The Nasus raised his staff high. It lit up with a purple fire. Then he slammed it down and whacked the Riven back to the fountain.

Double kill!

The Tristana got another reset of her Rocket Jump skill for the assist on the Riven. Cup Noodles used it to jump onto the Thresh and continued firing away. The Thresh was doing okay in lane. He’d gotten enough gold to get some health items. So he was a little harder to kill. Hard enough that it gave the Jarvan IV all the time he needed to escape up the river and into his own jungle. Lin Feng had his Nasus attack the Thresh too, helping the Tristana, who ended up getting the kill.

You have slain an enemy!

“Nice! That’s what I’m talking about! Yes!” Cup Noodles laughed. He hit the TAB key, looking at the stats of his Tristana. Her creep score was lacking. But he wasn’t 0/1/0 anymore. One kill and two assists! He was on the board now! He could use this to get back into the game and overtake that Vayne!

“I played that fucking perfectly! Flawless!” Zeal raged on. He couldn’t accept the Nasus. The jackal-headed monster that came from top lane to rain terror on the bot lane. Zeal had done everything so beautifully. From the engage to the Flash into Condemn combination to stun the Nami to a wall. “And that stupid shit Riven gave away another kill. Of course! Of fucking course! How could I expect anything different? She’s absolutely useless! Oh my god, why does this always have to happen to me?”

Zeal was 3/1/0 on his Vayne. This was normally great for an early game Vayne. He got the gold and the kills. He was set to become a monster. If only there wasn’t another monster on the Rift. Something far more terrifying. A Nasus was a difficult opponent for Vayne from the start due to Wither. But this became all the more difficult when this Nasus was already 6/1/0. Those six kills included the one on his Vayne. A shutdown kill. A kill that netted the Nasus extra gold. Gold he could spend to get even further ahead.

“Why? WHY? Why does it always have to be me?” Zeal whined. “WHY!” Now, this game was almost impossible to win. The Nasus was too strong. His team was useless. The Riven was practically worse than a cannon minion at this point. All he wanted was to have some fun. This wasn’t fun. “God fucking dammit! This stupid shit! Argh! I hate this piece of shit Riven!” The only way he could still win a fight against this Nasus was if the Nasus screwed up, his Thresh Support perfectly linked his crowd control skills to keep the Nasus away from his Vayne, and he bought items that could cancel crowd control skills, like the Quicksilver Sash. And even when all of those conditions were met, there were still four other players on the Blue team he had to think of. “Fucking shit teammates…”

“Oh, nice! We got the shutdown! Bot should be a win too now!” Lin Feng laughed. He then pinged on the Dragon, already having his Nasus walk towards it. “Let’s grab the Dragon while we’re here!” he said to absolutely no one. But the Tristana seemed to understand him, a case of being on the same wavelength. And the Elise also finally found her way towards the bot lane, after the fight ended. But that did mean she was there to help take the Dragon.

Lin Feng made a quick trip to the fountain to spend the gold from the kills in bot lane and the dragon before returning back to top lane. The items he bought were the ones Su Xue instructed him to buy, the ones from the guide. He had no clue how to build Nasus. Nor how to play him, really. But the guide told him the best thing to do was to keep pushing top lane and force the Red team to send Champions to stop him. At this point, they’d need to send more than two players to stop him. Because otherwise he would just kill them and continue pushing. Every next minion wave, his Siphoning Strike would deal more damage. Every next Champion that came his way would take more damage. It was a real headache for the Red team.

And for Lin Feng, for Lin Feng it was a fun game. He could do whatever he wanted, he was that far ahead. “Haha! Let them come! It’s just more gold for me! This is so much fun!” he laughed. His Nasus was no Master Yi who could push a lane fast and then had to run away. His Nasus was a raid boss in its truest form. He could push and keep pushing even when opponents came to stop him. They couldn’t stop him.

Zeal knew this too. The Nasus was too strong. The timeframe the Red team had to win this game was quickly disappearing. There was no point in sending people after the Nasus. They’d lose too much elsewhere on the map if they did that. So he came to the only logical answer. “Let’s teamfight! We’ll force them into a teamfight by pushing down mid! We can win a 4v4. We just have to keep the Nasus away. The Riven is already worthless, so we might as well have her do that. That should work.”

The plan was sound. However, there was one important aspect to the plan. The Riven had to be able to hold top lane, something she’d failed to do all game. A small detail Zeal forgot all about. At his normal rank, it shouldn’t be too hard. But this Riven was a Platinum player. The Nasus was Lin Feng, the previous contender for best player in the world. So it really wasn’t unexpected when, before the Red team could force a teamfight, the announcer’s voice rang out across Summoner’s Rift.

An ally has been slain!

“My god. How bad is this bitch?” Zeal paused for a moment, thinking. Then he hit down on the ENTER key and started typing a message in all chat. A message he’d been keeping back all game but couldn’t anymore.

Zeal (Vayne):쓰레기 놈, 게임 지워! TRASH RIVEN!

Zeal stopped pressuring for a teamfight. He had his Vayne retreat. They needed to do something about top lane. If they didn’t, the Nasus would just keep pushing and eventually destroy their nexus. And the Nasus was going to be pushing a lot faster on his own without opposition than the four of them could against the rest of the Blue team. It was just that…

“Haha! You think I’m going to let you back? Dream on!” Cup Noodles said, smirking. He ran after the Vayne and kept auto attacking. He wasn’t going for the kill. That wasn’t possible right now. No, he was just interrupting the Vayne, keeping her from recalling back to base. Like this, the Nasus could keep pushing. Cup Noodles fired off another cannonball at the Vayne and said, “Come! Stay! Slow dance with me now! I just want to slow dance to the beat of Nasus destroying your base! Hahaha! Slow dance if you feelin’ me now!”

The Tristana showed the other players from the Blue team what to do. They followed his example and did everything they could to stop the Red team from recalling back to base. Lin Feng noticed this too. He panned his camera to mid lane and watched recall animations being cancelled every few seconds. “Haha! Nice! The rest of the team is working hard too! Haha!”

The Jarvan IV was the first to get his recall through. It took a hot minute, but he made it all the way back to his base. Which was crumbling under the assault it was being subjected to. Jarvan IV decided it was time to mount a defense, and he noticed that the Nasus had already destroyed the inner tower and was working on bringing down the inhibitor tower. He rushed in, expecting an epic clash between spear and staff. But contrary to all his expectations, the Nasus didn’t react to his arrival at all. The Nasus didn’t step back, didn’t reposition, didn’t even slow him or start attacking him. So Jarvan IV decided to go in for the engage, throwing his standard at the Nasus for a flag toss combo. He was going to knock the Nasus up and force a retreat!  But the Nasus cleanly stepped around the flag toss and continued to calmly and nonchalantly attack the inhibitor tower. Jarvan IV couldn’t understand what was happening, but he continued to struggle to stop the Nasus. Tried to get the Nasus’ attention. But all his skills and auto attacks together couldn’t scratch Nasus any more than the minions could. And so, the Nasus continued to ignore him in favor of the tower. Ignored him, like a small fruit fly. 

W-why is it always like this? P-please. Notice me, Senpai!

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Dev Stared Down a Ghost in Phasmo

Shanks Thought: Let’s get a little topical! The Xbox Series X and Sony PS5 are launching this week, along with a bunch of new games. Spider-Man: Miles Morales. Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. The Demon’s Souls remake. I’m pretty psyched, honestly. Though, I don’t get much time to play as much as games as I did in the past. I hardly get any time to play actually. But I’m still a gamer at heart, so I still like to be in the know, at least.

I heard a lot of people rushed for pre-orders or planning to try and snag a console in store during the upcoming Black Friday. It’s crazy how invested people get into these things, even when we’re in the middle of a global pandemic. But, hey. With everyone stuck indoors and lacking entertainment, I guess that’s the perfect time to hop on this bandwagon.

I remember the first console launch I got really invested into. That was for the limited edition 20th anniversary PS4. I wanted it so bad. Only 12,000 ever produced, and they featured an aluminum plate with their unique number on them. I spent months of lead time preparing for it to drop. Marked my calendar. Set alarms. And then at the time it was supposed to drop, it didn’t. Hours went by and still nothing. So, I got tired of waiting and decided it wouldn’t hurt to go for a short nap. Turns out in that 20-minute window, Sony released the pre-orders. It sold out in less than 5 seconds. I was absolutely crushed. Never again.

So, what about you guys? Any of you getting the new consoles? Excited about the next generation? Maybe you’re a PC gamer and don’t care that much. Either way, let your thoughts, general opinions be heard,  and  we can get a discussion going in the comments.

Dev Thought: Yeah, I don’t really care about console wars or PC Master Race garbage. Makes no difference to me. I normally wouldn’t even add a thought to this because it’s not worth my attention. BUT! I was playing Phasmophobia last night on stream and something incredible happened. We were in the farm house, there was a ghost. A banshee. It started hunting. I was in the living room, I heard the ghost right behind me. I didn’t know where to run, where to hide. So I lit the smudge stick I was holding and threw it on the ground. Then I turned my flashlight on and saw the ghost in front of me. Flickering in and out of vision. Right up in my face. And then my smudge stick froze it. But I still didn’t know where to run. So I stared the Banshee down. Through sheer willpower and courage, I refused to back down at all. The ghost walked right past me and up the stairs. And that ended the hunt.

That’s right. I stared a ghost right in the eye and made it back off.

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