The First Pentakill

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Read XIII’s Rek’Sai still had Smite, a Summoner Skill that dealt a lot of damage to minions and monsters. Baron Nashor was at low health, high enough that it still took a few more skills or auto attacks to kill it but low enough that one Smite could kill it. So Read XIII smited the Baron. The giant wurm died on the spot and granted a team wide buff to Assassins.

Su Xue grabbed onto her desk. She dug her nails into the surface. KG’s Jungler was dead. This was a 4vs5 now, and Assassins had the Baron Buff! Everything looked wrong, and everything went wrong from there. Assassins pushed down the mid lane, killing two more players from KG in the process. They forced their way into the base and killed another one. Only Roundy Round was left alive. He fought back hard in a desperate attempt to stall the game. But the death timers were too long. The Nexus towers fell with 20 seconds still left for the Jarvan IV to respawn, not to mention the others.

“Aghhh! How did we lose that game?” Su Xue exclaimed. The Nexus exploded in front of her eyes and the victory screen for Assassins appeared. “W-we won the teamfight before! How did we lose at Baron? Gahhh! Damn that Rek’Sai! How did Read XIII get that steal! It shouldn’t have been possible! J4 should’ve…”

Lin Feng ruffled his messy hair and said, “He’s a King for a reason. You can’t underestimate him. Even when he’s not playing on his Lee Sin!”

The stream chat felt very much deflated. Game 1 saw a chat full of jokes and laughter and excitement. The second game started out the same. But as the tension built up towards the late game, the viewers stopped making jokes. Their messages turned serious. They were looking for an opening KG could use, even though they had no way of contacting said team. Then they watched Read XIII steal the Baron and carry his team to a win.


I guess a King team > KG…

i really thought we had a chance

mmannnn, why does it always have to end likes this??!?!?

hog also looked good at first. look what happened to them.

plzzzzz dont lose pplzzzzzzzzz

KG and Assassins had one win each, and Assassins was riding the momentum high after the Baron steal and the subsequent win. However, it didn’t feel like that. They were cheering, but not on their feet. A high five. A pat on the shoulder. That was it. Read XIII looked across his computer at KG’s lineup. More specifically, he looked towards God Roundy. This was a player he remembered very well from back in Season 1. They were old friends. But he wasn’t happy to be facing his old friend. Not today. Something felt off. Or wrong. He couldn’t quite place it. All he knew was that there was this indescribable feeling warning him of Roundy Round. “Dammit! Why does it feel like that fatass is going to do something crazy!”

There was a small break between game two and three of the KG versus Assassins series. Lin Feng chatted with the viewers a bit, but there was an annoying buzz that kept distracting him. It came from his pocket. High School 13’s esports club had a team chat. This way, even when they weren’t watching Worlds together, they could still share their feelings while watching it!

Ouyang:fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! we lost that second game! goddamn stupid reksai!!!!

Liu Yue:nnuuuuuuu coommmeee ooonnn KG!!! Dont throw this!

Ren Rou:「٩(╬ŏ3ŏ)و f this all! We’ll win for sure!

Tang Bingyao:Read XIII carried this game for Assassins. If KG wants to win the next one, they need someone on their team to carry harder.

Lin Feng skimmed through the messages before putting his phone away again. He didn’t have time to talk with his friends now. Right now, he was helping Su Xue with her stream, and he would give his full attention to that! So he put his phone on silent and focused back on the stream as KG and Assassins went into Champion Select for Game 3. He looked at the bans and then said to the stream, “Against Assassins, it’s absolutely necessary that KG take the initiative. They can’t let Read XIII do his thing. Then it’ll become very hard to win. The good news is that KG does have that ability. They have the player to do that. If they give Roundy Round a Champion he can carry on, they can win this game.”

It looked as if KG’s coach, who was telling his players which Champion to pick, was listening to Su Xue’s stream. Only seconds later did KG lock in Fiora. A woman with a Bluesteel rapier. She most definitely had the potential to take the initiative and carry her team to a victory! The stream chat saw this Champion as a reaffirmation of their beliefs.


this analysis! Holy dam… lil bro is the best

woootttttt FIORA!!! Lezzz goooooo

This was it. There was no more warming up. Whoever won this match was on gamepoint! KG and Assassins loaded into the game. They bought their items and went to their lanes. KG went with the normal setup, while Assassins initiated a lane swap. Their Botlaners went top lane to face Tian Tian’s Fiora! They were going to focus him and shut him down! It didn’t stop there. They had big plans for stopping the Fiora from ever getting into the game.

Read XIII ganked top lane twice in the first 10 minutes of the game. It almost looked like a 3vs1 in top. Assassins really had it out for Tian Tian! But Tian Tian didn’t die. He lost some minions, but that was it. It was as if he had a sixth sense, warning him whenever Read XIII came close to his lane. Before the Lee Sin could even walk into the top lane, he would’ve retreated underneath his tower. He didn’t give away any advantage. The game was still dead even.

On the caster desk for the official Chinese broadcast of Worlds, Stone was hopping up and down in excitement. An LPL team was doing well in the quarterfinals! And his curse hadn’t struck yet! “Beautiful!” he shouted as Roundy Round evaded another gank. “Roundy is really sharp today! It’s like he has eyes at the back of his head!”

Qinghe looked over at Stone and then back at the camera. “Roundy is doing very well in avoiding danger! But, that isn’t enough to win this game. Assassins are pouring a lot of resources in keeping him down, and to some extent it’s working. He needs to find a way to break out of this situation and get some time farming minions for experience and gold.”

At 15 minutes, the gaming was coming to a head. Assassins’ Botlaners had disappeared from top lane, presumably to go back to base and buy items. But then they showed themselves at the Dragon Pit, together with the rest of Assassins. KG’s Botlaners moved up while their Jungler and Midlaner also came to contest, walking around the backside of the pit to team up with their ad-carry and Support. Skillshots started being flung around.

Read XIII did it. He had his Lee Sin send out a Sonic Wave. It connected with Konjac’s Jinx. This was the target to hit. They had a chance to take out the carry! He pressed down on his Q key and activated the second part of this skill–Resonating Strike! His Lee Sin dashed towards the Jinx, who flashed away before he even arrived. The distance was further. He found himself a little behind KG’s team. Kicking back the Jinx didn’t make a whole lot of sense; he’d be kicking her into her own team. But he was right behind the Elise. So he hit her with a roundhouse kick and sent her flying towards the other players from Assassins–Dragon’s Rage!

Lee Sin was in the middle of KG’s team. The Thresh Support from KG flayed him back, allowing the Jinx to fire away at the Lee Sin with her minigun. They got the Lee Sin down to half health in a short moment. But this wasn’t just any Lee Sin. This was Read XIII’s Lee Sin, the best Lee Sin in the world! He knew exactly what he had to do to get out of this, or he wouldn’t have gone in. The moment he could move again, he placed a ward on the ground and dashed towards it with Safeguard. There was still a gap between him and his team. He was in the middle of this face off. So he flashed away to the safety of his own team.

There was a ward in the river brush above the Dragon Pit. It lit up with a blue light. A teleport! Tian Tian was coming down to help his team! Assassins were focused on dealing with the Elise and helping their Jungler get back safely. They completely missed the teleport. Tian Tian appeared behind the players from Assassins. The Lee Sin was running towards him, towards what he believed to be safety. It wasn’t. Tian Tian pressed the Q key–Lunge! His Fiora lunged towards the Lee Sin and stabbed him, dealing physical damage and applying on-hit effects.

《You have slain an enemy!》

Tian Tian was in the middle of Assassins’ team. There were four more Champions around him, all turning their attention to him. He had to be fast. His next target had to be one of the carries. The Kalista was the most obvious one. So he clicked on her, commanding his Fiora to attack. The Fiora attacked the Kalista with her rapier. Her passive identified the vitals on her target. It was called the Duelist’s Dance and showed her where to attack next. An arrow instructing Tian Tian from which direction he could deal the most damage to the Kalista.

Assassins’ Support was a Leona, a defensive Champion with a lot of crowd control. All she had to do was land one of her skills and the Fiora would be stunned. The Fiora would be dead. The Leona projected a solar image of her sword straight towards the Fiora, about to jump towards her and stun her. But before the image faded, the Fiora disappeared. She’d flashed away to the other side of Kalista! To where her Duelist’s Dance told her to attack next!

Tian Tian pressed down on the R key–Grand Challenge! His Fiora revealed all four Vitals on the Kalista and gained bonus movement speed. There was a second part to this skill, other than the massive damage she dealt after hitting a Vital. A large area around the target would become a healing ground for Fiora and her teammates if she hit the four Vitals or killed the target. The target was Kalista. Her health was low. One auto attack on the first Vital did the job.

《Double kill!》

On the caster desk, Stone slammed his fist on the desk and shouted, “NICE! LET’S GO!”

Qinghe nodded and added, “God Roundy has done it! He got the second part of the Fiora ult! He’s going to clean up this figh—”

《Triple kill!》

There was no time to shoutcast. There was no time to do anything. Tian Tian went to town with his Fiora. The third kill came before the casters could even talk about the second. And the fourth came before they could even cheer for the third.

《Quadra kill!》

It was a quadra kill! A quadra kill! The people in the Zenith Paris went wild. They jumped up from their seats and screamed Tian Tian’s name. “GOD ROUNDY! GOD ROUNDY!” They held up their signboards and were clapping together their glow sticks. They were chugging their beers and jumping up and down, the vibrations reaching all the way to the parking lot outside. And they weren’t the only ones. All across the world, every KG fan screamed and yelled and cheered. This was their moment! A 1vs5 quadra kill! And there was still a Gnar alive. A Gnar that was trying to flee!

The Thresh Support from KG flashed forward and threw out a Death Sentence. His sickle cut through the air towards the Gnar and wrapped around him. Then he dragged the Gnar back towards him, while throwing a lantern to Tian Tian’s Fiora–Dark Passage!

Tian Tian clicked the lantern. His Fiora dashed towards the Thresh and got a shield. She was right in front of the Gnar. Then she lunged forward, stabbing the Gnar, dealing physical damage. The Jinx caught up and also hit a few auto attacks. The rest from KG was a step behind. But Tian Tian wasn’t going to let this kill slip from his fingers. He attacked with another auto attack.

Lin Feng watched the stream, forgetting to breathe. He stared at Fatty. How he moved. How he killed. How he did absolutely everything right on his Fiora. It was a beautiful display of skill. A level of play that very few, if any, other players could imitate. This was the Fatty he remembered from Season 1! This was Fatty! He clenched his fist and smiled. Fatty! You did it! You did it!

Samsung Sam is Best Girl

Shanks Thought: Devshard and I are on opposite camps of the phone war. He’s hardcore Apple and I’m Android. And the recent announcement of the iPhone 12 has him all giddy over it while I’m completely disinterested and sticking up my nose in the air. So we thought it’d be fun to set up a debate and see where you all stand.


Android: I love my Android. It’s like a cheat device and all I’ll ever need. Honestly, I had no idea what I was missing because I used to be part of the Apple camp too. But it’s just so much more freeing. Also, way less expensive so I didn’t have to pimp out Sietse on the streets for it.

You can do pretty much everything you can do on an iPhone on an Android. Functionality wise. It might take a few more steps to get there, but it’s worth the effort. And there’s a bunch of stuff you can do that iPhones can’t, like rooting your device to install an AdBlocker, or a custom Youtube app that doesn’t show any ads, or maybe a Cheat Engine to blitz through that crappy mobile game that has you addicted. Your iPhone definitely can’t do that.

The only difference with an iPhone is that you spent the money on an iPhone. Cool. You get to show it off  everyone. But then it becomes irrelevant next year when the new one comes, so you better buy another one again. Sure. A lot of iPhone people aren’t like that. They aren’t trend setters. They just like Apple. That’s fine. But here’s the biggest issue.

It isn’t enough to just get an iPhone. You have to buy their whole suite of devices to take full advantage of their ecosystem. Macbooks, iMacs, Apple Watch, iPads, etc. Then your whole life and workflow becomes centered around Apple products. Are you really willing to give up so much power to a single company? Obviously, a few of you are going to go, “Yes, give it to me Daddy Jobs!” But I’d like to think most sane people aren’t masochists and aren’t willing to put themselves in a position where they can get screwed whenever and wherever. Like with the ridiculous repair fees, the forced obsoletion, and now they aren’t even giving people a basic charger and cable for their phones! Just how much do Apple fanboys like getting abused?

I’m not saying Android phone companies aren’t like that too. But hey, at least you get a choice. Don’t like Samsung? Go for Google Maybe for OnePlus. Or the host of other Android smartphone makers. And if you just want to say screw it to all of that, you can just install a custom Android ROM. Then you’re free to do whatever you want with your device. Sure, it’s sort of like the wild west at that point. But isn’t the danger half the fun?


Devshard is prepping his counter argument for tomorrow’s chapter. He is in love with Apple. Has been for as long as I’ve known him. He keeps talking it up, telling us how everything else is absolute dogshit. But he’s still empty on arguments. He hasn’t given me any yet, though. So I’m calling his buff! He has no arguments! Android is the better of the two! None of you can prove me wrong! TRY ME!

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