Second Rate Teams, Third Rate Gameplay

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“Wow! Did you see that?” 

“Yes. I did. I’m right here…” 

“That was so amazing!” 

“It really was. I don’t think I could’ve done that.” 

“Haha! Definitely not! You suck at this game!”

While gasps rang out from the crowd, merging together with the hushed whispers, Ren Rou cheered together with Wei Dong. Lin Feng had averted the gank! His Zyra stopped any hope of the Lee Sin jumping on them! They could get out scot-free. “Nice! Let’s go! Get out of there!” she shouted, eager to support the team in any way she could.

However, Lin Feng didn’t go back. Nor did Tang Bingyao. They knew what the other was thinking. There was no need for words. But Lin Feng was in one of those moods, full of energy. He shouted, “Tang Tang! Let’s do this! Fight!”

“Mhm.” Tang Bingyao nodded while having her Twitch move forward. Her target was the Tristana. Twitch was in range. He cackled as he fired off a venom laced bolt. Then he stepped to the side. It looked harmless, a simple reposition or an attempt to cancel his attack animation. But then a Sonic Wave flew past where he just stood. The Blind Monk was searching for his target and failed. Tang Bingyao had guessed perfectly what the Lee Sin’s next move would be and dodged it before it even happened! She followed up by pressing down on the W key–Venom Cask! The Twitch hurled a cask of venom that exploded on top of the Tristana and Lee Sin, slowing them and applying a deadly venom.

“Oh, damn! That was sexy!” 

“I know right! She’s playing crazy good!” 

“You’re hot High School 13 ad-carry!” 

“Awkward creep… Just enjoy that awesome play!” 

“My god! She actually predicted he would throw his Q!” 

“What rank is she? She must be Diamond, right? Like, at least!” 

“Sick skills, girl! Now turn this fight around!”

“D-dammit! Fine! You want a fight? I’ll give you one!” North High’s ad-carry had had it up to here! Until here and no further! This matchup should be his! His Tristana was stronger than the Twitch! His Morgana was a really strong Support on the current patch. And that Zyra was completely useless in this meta! There was no excuse. He had to win! He had to! This cocky bitch! How dares she attack me when my Jungler is ganking! I’ll show her! He pressed down on the W key–Rocket Jump!

The Tristana aimed her cannon at the ground and fired, launching herself into the air and towards the Twitch. She landed on top of him and put a bomb on his head–Explosive Charge! Then she fired off an auto attack. The Morgana and Lee Sin were trying to catch up from behind, but the minions in the lane were blocking a direct path.

Behind North High’s ad-carry, Zeng Rui from Shanghai High School shook his head. Fool. This was a mistake only the worst players made. The Devshards. Beginners who had no clue what was going on and had zero feeling for the game. It took a special kind of stupid to jump in when you didn’t know where the opponent’s Jungler was, even more so when you were the ad-carry. Squishy and easy to kill.

Tang Bingyao didn’t run. She let the Tristana jump on her and just kept attacking. This time, she was the bait. Because coming down from the river, shouting in her ears and pinging on bot lane, was none other than Ouyang with his Jarvan IV! “Coming in hot! Time to save the princess!” he shouted. Then he flashed forward, walking until he was almost on top of the Tristana, and then executed his flag-toss combo! He was right on top the Tristana. There was nowhere for her to escape to. He had his Jarvan IV dash through her and knocked her up into the air! He followed up with an auto attack before calling upon the ancient kings of Demacia to shield him from harm and slow the Tristana–Golden Aegis!

F-fucking. Dammit. Argh. Fuck. Shit. North High’s ad-carry was rapid firing insults at himself. He should’ve never jumped in like that. Now he knew! How should I know that Jarvan was right there! He smashed down on his keyboard, trying to Flash away, while he watched his Tristana’s health drop lower and lower. “Black shield! Morg, give me a black shield! Come on! Hurry up already!”

The Morgana caught up. She cast the Black Shield on Tristana, protecting her from all disabling effects with a barrier of starlight. She followed up with a Dark Binding. The dark magic flew through the air, straight for the Jarvan IV. If she could stop him, her ad-carry would still have a chance to survive!

Lin Feng paid close attention to the Morgana. He was well aware of how the Tristana could escape. He was going to counter that. Zyra could plant seeds and she could also have them grow into monstrous plants! Lin Feng had planted a couple of these seeds, preparing for this very moment. Morgana’s Dark Binding flew through the air. He pressed down on his Q key–Deadly Spines! Thick vines spread through the ground and exploded into spines, feeding one of the seeds. The seed grew into a Thorn Spitter plant and rose up right in the path of the Dark Binding. It ate the attack of dark magic and died. But it also blocked the attack from connecting with Ouyang’s Jarvan IV!

“How in the world…” 


“Was that…” 

“Yeah, it was… Jesus, that guy is good.”

The crowd couldn’t believe what they were seeing. This play was out of this world! Beyond that, even Zeng Rui was caught off guard! This Zyra went from one high skill play into the next as if it were nothing! Wow. Those reflexes and reaction speed are something to watch out for. 

Ouyang and Tang Bingyao could chase after North High’s ad-carry without a worry in the world. The Tristana was almost dead, the Morgana had no damage and no crowd control skills left, and it’d be suicidal for the Lee Sin to jump in. This was the very definition of an easy kill. They attacked the Tristana a few more times until Tang Bingyao pressed down on her  E key–Contaminate! Twitch blasted the poisoned Tristana with his vile diseases!

《First blood!》

Ouyang could hear his teammates cheering behind him. The “WOOT WOOT!” from Liu Yue was especially resounding. Liu Yue approved of his play! I-i’m doing it! I’m doing it! He started laughing. There was nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to fear. This game was in the bag. He’d carry it with his Jarvan IV! “Oh yeah! Bro, my Jarvan is fucking fantastic! Did you see that gank? Damn, I was so awesome there!”

Zeng Rui snorted. Who is this idiot? He didn’t care one bit for Ouyang’s performance. It was mediocre at best. And the only reason it looked mediocre and not straight terrible was because that Tristana was just as bad as the Jarvan IV. Two terrible players having a little fun. They were having fun, but there wasn’t anything to see for the crowd. Why did that Tristana even Rocket Jump in? How was it not obvious that the Jarvan IV was coming? The Twitch stayed to fight! That was such a dead giveaway… There were so many problems and issues with the Tristana and Jarvan IV’s plays that he didn’t know how to end complaining about them. Until he shifted his attention towards High School 13’s ad-carry. Tang Bingyao. She stayed calm and played well. Impressive.

However, the most impressive player was still Lin Feng. Zeng Rui looked at Lin Feng again. The cocky dumbass… Lin Feng’s mechanics on Zyra were really good. Really good. It wasn’t just one time either. In these first four minutes of the game, he played perfectly. Zeng Rui couldn’t find anything to complain about, at least gameplay wise. Is he really that good? Was it luck? But he’s done it before on Riven and Zed. There is no such thing as coincidence…

The game started great for High School 13. But the few minutes after the first blood went all North High’s way. The first big moment came at 6 minutes. The Twisted Fate had reached Level 6 and learned his ultimate–Destiny! He predicted the fortunes of his foes, revealing them and enabling the use of Gate. A portal he could use to travel to any target location in 1.5 seconds. Chen Ze’s fortune ended first. The Twisted Fate teleported to the top lane and helped his Darius pick up a kill on the Rumble.

A minute later, at 7 minutes, the Twisted Fate returned to mid lane. Ouyang had been waiting in a brush for this. He wanted to help his Midlaner get a kill. Maybe even help Yang Fan win the lane. He jumped on the Twisted Fate with his flag-toss combo! The Twisted Fate flashed away, back to tower safety. His health had dropped low. Ziggs had his Mega Inferno Bomb and Jarvan IV had Cataclysm. Ouyang made the call. He towerdove the Twisted Fate. His Jarvan IV heroically leapt at the target and smashed the Twisted Fate down into the ground so hard that the surrounding area terraformed into an arena. Together with Ziggs’ long range attacks, the Twisted Fate died. But the Jarvan IV was also locked up in his own arena. Underneath North High’s outer tower. He forgot to cancel his ultimate skill in time and died to a last energy shot from the outer tower.

Yang Fan breathed out, deep and hard. “Come on! Ouyang! You should’ve backed away, dude. You know you can cancel your ult, right?”

There was no need for Yang Fan to yell at Ouyang. Ouyang was more than a little upset with himself already. Still, he blurted out, “I was backing away, alright? It’s just that minion that was in the way. And there was a slight delay in canceling my ult. This stupid game! It bugged! Shit!”

Standing behind the players from North High, Zeng Rui couldn’t hide his contempt. The gamescore was two kills for two kills. Four idiotic deaths that could’ve all been evaded. Easily. If he would’ve played, none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve made sure of that! Second rate teams showing off their third rate gameplay… All his interest for High School 13 disappeared. Their bot lane was good, he had to admit. But the rest of their team was dogshit. Terrible. The worst players he’d ever seen play the game. Two strong players wasn’t enough at the Shanghai 16 School Tournament. Not to contest for the title, at least. High School 13 wouldn’t be a title contender. He wouldn’t have to prepare for them. It wasn’t worth his time.

“Finally,” Zeng Rui mumbled. Though he’d already decided High School 13 didn’t amount to much, he still stuck around to watch the game. Mostly because he just felt this urge to watch the Support Zyra die. Something about the excited shouts of that Support player had rubbed him the wrong way. At 8 minutes, something big was brewing in bot lane. Lin Feng and Tang Bingyao would have to do some truly spectacular to walk out of this one alive!

How To Get Candy From Your Parents

Sietse Thought: Stupid things we did as kids. By now, most of you know I live for candy. Always been like that too. In elementary school I spent more time at a friend’s place than at home. I was there so often that his parents just kind of accepted my presence. Well, they also had candy. I wanted it. But to get to it, we had to ask his parents if we could have some. At first, we would go and he’d ask the question. That worked for a while, then not so much anymore. We needed a new tactic. Something brilliant. That was when our 7 year old minds went into overdrive and we came up with the genius idea of asking it together! But both saying the same stuff didn’t seem to hold as much meaning. So we did one word each.

Me: Can
Him: We
Me: Please

You get the gist. This worked miracles. We got our candy. I got my candy! Little me was very pleased with himself. That friend and I still see each other to this day. This is one of our favourite stories. We must’ve looked like such morons to his parents. Our excited expressions when we asked for some candy. It must’ve been absolutely hilarious for his parents.

Shanks Thought: Here I am reading about stupid things Sietse did as a kid, and I’m thinking how tame it is. I had no TV as a kid. Well, that’s a lie. I did for a while, but then I broke it cause I was a little shit and my dad refused to get another one. Anyway, because of the lack of TV, I spent most of my time playing in the back garden and exploring the neighbourhood. I was climbing trees, getting chased down by hens, and scraping my knees! All you kids these days are too soft and squishy! Not enough grit!

Oh, I’ve also noticed a trend of more candy related thoughts by Sietse lately. It’s obvious his cravings are getting to him. But he also told me he’d quit Rise if I ever mailed him a bag of candy. So his misery of his own making. That’s why you guys need to tempt him with more candy. Especially since Halloween is coming up.

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